How come im so weird, i want to be normal but cant.

Im an old virgin lol as ive never really had the urge to date and have sex etc. I feel like a big weirdo for it and have been called an oddball. The thing is though Ihad a crush on a much older man for years before he asked me out. We dated for months and tried sex 3 times but each time he would enter me a little and then it would hurt. I tried to put up with the pain but couldnt, i just dont like sex. So ive never had full penetrative sex but have tried, stupid question I know but can i finally now say im no longer a virgin? He wanted someone with a proper sex drive so we agreed to end it, though we are still friends. Its kind of like other things in life i never fully commit to anything. Ive always had a 0 hour contract job and if i mess up/get told off by a staff i will just work somewhete elsewhere. Its as though im scared to assert myself, i have lots of qualifications but dont use them. Im ashamed of it but its how i am, its like i dip my toe into areas of life but avoid full commitment. Anyway ive gone off topic a bit thetes kind of 2 topics here but yea I dont know why im so weird.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Another thing is i tend to make things up to appear normal. When people start asking about me im ashamed to say i live with parents at my age. When they ask whete i go out i make something up bevause the truth is ive never had a proper social life nor the friends to go out anywhere with.

If you haven't already you might benefit from seeing a therapist. You can get this off the NHS, find your CCG here and google whatever it is and "IAPT" at the end. Many of them allow you to go see them without seeing your GP first just by calling them and asking to self-refer, but you can always go to a GP if they don't

Reply 4

RomanBF95

Babe all you need is a bottle of lube and just tell him youre tight, boys love that! :P

how old are you?

Original post by Bonoahx

Ive been to a counsellor she just told me not to label myself or be too critical of myself and that i was normal. I was nothing like the typical young person who has friends/goes out though, I was extremely quiet and still am. I have no close friends, ive just hidden myself away. Alcohol does nothing for me i just get bloated and dont see the appeal. Im also not feminine in the least and have never owned a skirt or dress.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by RomanBF95

how old are you?

Too old, prefere not to say as i feel others see it as pathetic, im past mid twenties though.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by RomanBF95

Babe all you need is a bottle of lube and just tell him youre tight, boys love that! :P

Hah, i tried to loosen up (mentally and physically) but i had other things on my mind like despite using protection i was scared of catching sti's given his past. I just need to relax about stuff i guess!

Reply 9

RomanBF95

its okay girl... Dont worry about it, do what you think is right, go out meet people, its hard. I remember when i came to Scotland i never had friends, i fought outside the school for a whole year non stop everyday...
Now tho i know the whole of town because I whooped theyre butts lol
Not everyone will accept you but not everyone wont
I respect you a lot for being honest. If that was the case with me I would forever hide and be alone.
Youre a strong girl and always will be, be who you want to be and dont be shamed :smile:

I love you ahaha
jokes but i probably would if i seen you :wink:

Reply 10

RomanBF95

i think you should go meet someone else whos clean ! or go out into town, have a good time

Reply 11

CON5P1RACY K1D

Original post by Anonymous

are you drunk ?

Reply 12

Judge Judy

Original post by Anonymous

Are you SUSAN BOYLE who came second in the final of the X Factor a few years ago ?

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by Judge Judy

Are you SUSAN BOYLE who came second in the final of the X Factor a few years ago ?

No Im not but thats just one side of me.

Reply 14

Maid Marian

Original post by Anonymous

They're silly for calling you an oddball, but you don't have to tell anybody about this, you know.
Regarding the sex, it will be very painful for some of us, but if you keep at it then it WILL get better. Inch by inch and lots of patience.

I think that more people than we think feel like they are weirder than everyone else. Chin up :redface:

Reply 15

Judge Judy

Original post by Anonymous

No Im not but thats just one side of me.

I was just trying to be funny but anyway i'm sure you are not the only one who feels like that. I have always found it to be painful too so i don't try hard to meet anyone. But my friends are boring and never want to go out so i don't get to meet anyone anyway unless men ask me out on the street but they are not usually my type so i just stay single.
I have lost count but i think i have been single for 10 years +.
When i was younger I went to the doctor about the problem and my male doctor told me to go to a sex therapist that would help me and show me how to relax so he told me to go to the female doctor in the same surgery. I was still single then so the female doctor lied and said she can't refer me because I did not currently have a partner at that time. She was real nasty the first time i met her so i never went back to her and when i told my male doctor he said she lied and that I don't need a partner to get the therapy. He said he will have a word with her about how she treated me because he does not like people being mean. Anyway my point is you should tell your doctor about the problem or a sexual health clinic and they will tell you what help you can get for it.
And look up the problem by typing it on google

But you are definitely not weird and sometimes i wish i had stayed a virgin until i met the right person. Some men will like the fact that you are and have not slept around.

But don't let that stop you going out to meet anyone
Sign up with Citysocializer to make new friends or meet up with new people on Citysocializer with your old friends. It will be a good laugh and you might actually meet someone there.
Click on this link
www.Citysocializer.com
If you live outside of London maybe they have one in your own area but when you sign up you just ask to meet people in your own area or whatever area you want to meet new people and they send you pictures of all the people that live closer to you
There are people of all ages on it between 18 to 60 +
And join dating agencies online for older people

Reply 16

Louiseb90

I don't think your weird at all. I have a friend who didn't enjoy sex but it turned out she was fine in a relationship with someone she cared about. It's probably just because your not in a situation you feel feel comfortable with. As for the other stuff, not all girls wear skirts! Maybe there is more to it but your the only one that can find out. Maybe a counsellor would help?

Reply 17

Another

Original post by Anonymous

Ive been to a counsellor she just told me not to label myself or be too critical of myself and that i was normal.

Well, that's true though isn't it? You are who you are. You can't change, even if you tried (which I'm assuming, you have) - why not screw society and live life how you want to?

Also, like other people have said above, you may want a trip to the sexual health clinic.