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What could I have done differently for my ex?

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    • Thread Starter

    My Ex had ideas to work in the healthcare sector but messed up their MA due to an addiction and avoidance. From that moment on wards, things have gone down in a negative spiral for them. They lost direction and motivation to search for work due to anxiety.

    It's now approaching 2 years and the situation hasn't changed. Whilst they still laugh a lot, I notice that whenever I bring up the idea of searching for work or even volunteering. They see have a lot of anxiety over something like that.

    Talking about anything job related seem to cause a lot of strain on our relationship so I didn't push it any further, hoping that they would make their own change in their own time.

    I don't know whether they are depressed, but I wouldn't be too surprised if they were. They just spend a lot of time online now, chatting with friends (laughter - a source of comfort) and effectively trying to avoid reality.

    I wish I knew how I could have done things differently for them...

    Anon, it's not your fault. To me you seemed to have been supportive and understanding, and that's all you really could've given them. They need help to kick their addiction if they haven't already, and some help moving forwards. Maybe they'd be better seeing someone professional to help them with their anxiety, and maybe then trying to get into work. They could get help from the job centre for this or support elsewhere in the community. It really isn't your fault, so don't wonder about what would be different if you'd done things differently. You can't go back and change anything, anyway. It's all about moving forward from here.
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