I'll keep this brief.
I've been a member of TSR for years, and many of you will recognise my user and ramblings.
Basically, I moved to be with my long term partner 2/3 months ago, and while I do enjoy my independence it's hard- especially living within the grips of an anxiety disorder.
While I have been living and working here, in a new living and working environment *I'm always on edge and hostile. I don't get along with colleagues, and there is always a sense of disingenuousness when I speak to them. It's not only I don't trust, you just can't.
*I've heard them **** people off many times, and even snigger at me and snap at me for my 'slowness'. Not only is this company culture but it extends to the people themselves and mangers whom actively encourage.
The job is a job to me, and it pays bills however, I'm not sure how much I can take. I'm shy, timid and hostile in work and it impacts me- despite having had years of therapy. I have a big history of traumatic events and emotional issues. Been on medication numerous times over years, sought private and NHS therapies for social anxiety, GAD and depression. *
Sometimes I just want to call in sick, even when in not ill because I don't want to deal with it all. I feel safer at home in my bedroom. I even get anxious sitll at taking calls.
Despite all this, I still don't feel worthy or bad enough for medication, partly because I am better than I was having had psychotherapy for under a year (which I paid for!), however sometimes life gets too much.
I've yet to register with a new GP and it gets harder having to tell someone new again what my issue is.*
Do you think it sounds as though I'd be prescribed meds?
Anxiety- GAD. Not sure I'm bad enough to go back on medication but want too...
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