The Student Room Group

Dealing with disappointment

How do I deal with being disappointed in what I've achieved so far?

I go to Oxford and will be graduating with a 2.1 (still a year to go but I've done 75% of my degree). I know it's a good achievement but it feels so useless in terms of what my friends/family have achieved- one of them is married and is pregnant, another is graduating this year with a first, all the others have jobs and are at uni and have cars, a cousin has travelled the world because he's a trained pilot and I don't have any of that :frown:

I know it's pathetic to compare myself to others but what they have is actually useful in the real world while my degree by itself is useless. I have a feeling I'll have a hard time doing things like get a job and learn to drive and get married etc because all I've ever been good at is academia.

Any advice? :frown:

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Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
How do I deal with being disappointed in what I've achieved so far?

I go to Oxford and will be graduating with a 2.1 (still a year to go but I've done 75% of my degree). I know it's a good achievement but it feels so useless in terms of what my friends/family have achieved- one of them is married and is pregnant, another is graduating this year with a first, all the others have jobs and are at uni and have cars, a cousin has travelled the world because he's a trained pilot and I don't have any of that :frown:

I know it's pathetic to compare myself to others but what they have is actually useful in the real world while my degree by itself is useless. I have a feeling I'll have a hard time doing things like get a job and learn to drive and get married etc because all I've ever been good at is academia.

Any advice? :frown:



You're still studying so there's not much you can do. Once you will finish Uni and will get your degree ( Which will be amazing achievement) & get a job you will be able to travel as much as you want in spare time & buy what ever you want. Be proud of yourself as not a lot of people get into Universities & achieve as much as you already did. :smile:
Reply 2
Original post by In2u
You're still studying so there's not much you can do. Once you will finish Uni and will get your degree ( Which will be amazing achievement) & get a job you will be able to travel as much as you want in spare time & buy what ever you want. Be proud of yourself as not a lot of people get into Universities & achieve as much as you already did. :smile:


Your positivity is lovely :redface: except I don't think I will be able to get a decent job and therefore couldn't travel nor afford things I want :frown: I'm basically heading for failure :redface:
I think I wasted the opportunities I got..
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
Your positivity is lovely :redface: except I don't think I will be able to get a decent job and therefore couldn't travel nor afford things I want :frown: I'm basically heading for failure :redface:
I think I wasted the opportunities I got..


What are you studying right now? :smile:
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
How do I deal with being disappointed in what I've achieved so far?

I go to Oxford and will be graduating with a 2.1 (still a year to go but I've done 75% of my degree). I know it's a good achievement but it feels so useless in terms of what my friends/family have achieved- one of them is married and is pregnant, another is graduating this year with a first, all the others have jobs and are at uni and have cars, a cousin has travelled the world because he's a trained pilot and I don't have any of that :frown:

I know it's pathetic to compare myself to others but what they have is actually useful in the real world while my degree by itself is useless. I have a feeling I'll have a hard time doing things like get a job and learn to drive and get married etc because all I've ever been good at is academia.

Any advice? :frown:


now you've finished your degree you can go out into the world, and the likelihood is you will find someone and start a family later down the line... try dating apps maybe if you struggle to chat to people in the real world.
Reply 5
Original post by In2u
What are you studying right now? :smile:


He was right your positivity is lovely but I cant seem to locate it on the maps
Reply 6
Original post by Inside10
He was right your positivity is lovely but I cant seem to locate it on the maps


Who the **** are you LMAOO
You don't need to have a car or be pregnant at your age. A 2:1 from Oxford is.. Well, amazing, so you just need to work on the other employable aspects of yourself and you'll be good to go. You've still got a year of your degree left too, so I'm sure that you can leave having not felt like you wasted opportunities if you make the most of it.
Original post by Anonymous
How do I deal with being disappointed in what I've achieved so far?

I go to Oxford and will be graduating with a 2.1 (still a year to go but I've done 75% of my degree). I know it's a good achievement but it feels so useless in terms of what my friends/family have achieved- one of them is married and is pregnant, another is graduating this year with a first, all the others have jobs and are at uni and have cars, a cousin has travelled the world because he's a trained pilot and I don't have any of that :frown:

I know it's pathetic to compare myself to others but what they have is actually useful in the real world while my degree by itself is useless. I have a feeling I'll have a hard time doing things like get a job and learn to drive and get married etc because all I've ever been good at is academia.

Any advice? :frown:

Oxford University...enough said for lifetime achievement!
What's stopping you from doing those things after university?

You'll get a job. A 2:1 is really good and especially from Oxford! That's amazing within itself!

Knowledge is power. Perhaps that is the one thing that they don't have. You can go on to learn to drive, get married, have kids, and what not, just like everyone else. If you really want it, you'll get it. You must know that already.

Personally, if I had to choose between the common lifestyle of marriage and a child, and a 2:1 degree from Oxford - I know what I'd choose...

(I'd rather be in your position)
Original post by In2u
What are you studying right now? :smile:


Original post by fefssdf
now you've finished your degree you can go out into the world, and the likelihood is you will find someone and start a family later down the line... try dating apps maybe if you struggle to chat to people in the real world.




Original post by SeanFM
You don't need to have a car or be pregnant at your age. A 2:1 from Oxford is.. Well, amazing, so you just need to work on the other employable aspects of yourself and you'll be good to go. You've still got a year of your degree left too, so I'm sure that you can leave having not felt like you wasted opportunities if you make the most of it.


Original post by Shazen
Oxford University...enough said for lifetime achievement!


Original post by maggiedavies
What's stopping you from doing those things after university?

You'll get a job. A 2:1 is really good and especially from Oxford! That's amazing within itself!

Knowledge is power. Perhaps that is the one thing that they don't have. You can go on to learn to drive, get married, have kids, and what not, just like everyone else. If you really want it, you'll get it. You must know that already.

Personally, if I had to choose between the common lifestyle of marriage and a child, and a 2:1 degree from Oxford - I know what I'd choose...

(I'd rather be in your position)


Thank you everyone, will keep everyone's advice in mind! :smile: And to the person who asked, I study chemistry :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you everyone, will keep everyone's advice in mind! :smile: And to the person who asked, I study chemistry :smile:

Wow you study Chemistry in Oxford...people would kill to do this!
Original post by Shazen
Wow you study Chemistry in Oxford...people would kill to do this!


That's very sweet of you :smile:
I get that which is why I said it was pathetic of me to complain but I think it's a case of wanting what I don't have :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
That's very sweet of you :smile:
I get that which is why I said it was pathetic of me to complain but I think it's a case of wanting what I don't have :frown:


Dont worry about what other people are doing. You have an amazing degree from an amazing university. Its basically now if you apply for a job, you'll get it. I know how you feel, I've dropped a year in 6th form so im watching my friends leave for Uni and im stuck here but, its had its good points :smile: Not everyone is made to have a great family and have kids and get married when they are 20. Some people are made to create things and have amazing jobs and do the family bit later. :smile: You now have a really good degree, go take the world and make it amazing :biggrin:
Original post by Anonymous
How do I deal with being disappointed in what I've achieved so far?

I go to Oxford and will be graduating with a 2.1 (still a year to go but I've done 75% of my degree). I know it's a good achievement but it feels so useless in terms of what my friends/family have achieved- one of them is married and is pregnant, another is graduating this year with a first, all the others have jobs and are at uni and have cars, a cousin has travelled the world because he's a trained pilot and I don't have any of that :frown:

I know it's pathetic to compare myself to others but what they have is actually useful in the real world while my degree by itself is useless. I have a feeling I'll have a hard time doing things like get a job and learn to drive and get married etc because all I've ever been good at is academia.

Any advice? :frown:


Chemistry is quite far from useless. Tell me: do you feel guilty for having pursued higher education?
Original post by Samonia
Dont worry about what other people are doing. You have an amazing degree from an amazing university. Its basically now if you apply for a job, you'll get it. I know how you feel, I've dropped a year in 6th form so im watching my friends leave for Uni and im stuck here but, its had its good points :smile: Not everyone is made to have a great family and have kids and get married when they are 20. Some people are made to create things and have amazing jobs and do the family bit later. :smile: You now have a really good degree, go take the world and make it amazing :biggrin:


Thank you :smile: Sadly the job market isn't any easier for me no matter how much I wish it to be :tongue: I will try and get a good job though and hopefully can make the world just a little bit better :smile:
Your positive attitude is great, good luck with sixth form and uni! :smile:
Original post by Profesh
Chemistry is quite far from useless. Tell me: do you feel guilty for having pursued higher education?


It's not that I feel guilty, I enjoyed my degree but I do think a degree by itself isn't too useful; work experience and having a job means much more in today's world. I'm no more employable now than I was when I started my degree! I guess looking it purely from a practical perspective has negatively coloured my vision, which is why I'm disappointed with myself. I guess it's less to do with the degree and more to do with my (lack of) effort towards other things
Think you are being a bit pathetic tbh.
I only mean that in s lightly harsh way because you are being over pessimistic.
You can still have a fantastic career with a 2:1 from Oxford and it will open doors for you.

You might wnat to look at other people less fortunate than you and get some perspective.
Wait till someone dies, you lose a limb or a child and then you might see others bear far greater burdens and deal with things. It might stop you feeling sorry for yourself and count your blessings. Keep things in perspective and if you feel you made a mistake learn from it and try to avoid in future.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
That's very sweet of you :smile:
I get that which is why I said it was pathetic of me to complain but I think it's a case of wanting what I don't have :frown:


Yeah same here, just like I'm wishing I was in Oxford. If I had grades like yours my life would be complete I'm not even joking!
degrees are pointless and mean nothing, its all about work experience

but that doesn't mean you can't get pregnant or get a car, and also a 2:1 degree in chemistry if fairly useful

stop being permestic and look at what you have, instead of comparing yourselve

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