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Relationship Advice: Are things moving too fast?

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Why bother with a post grad? Are they even worth it? Have your say! 26-10-2016
    • Thread Starter

    I'm 20 years old and have been with my 21 year old partner for 5 and a half years. I have been living away and coming home at the weekends for 2 years since I have been at university. Since I've come home full time, I have moved in with him and his parents. All my belongings are here and it's now official that we are living together. I have never felt comfortable in his parents house and feel like I'm unwanted. His mum does literally all the chores around the house and doesn't allow any opportunity for me to help, which I'm completely not used to after living alone for 2 years. I know we have been in a relationship a long time, but I just can't help but think things are moving too fast. He loves living with me and doesn't mind the fact it's with his parents. I just feel so uncomfortable living here, but know it will only cause arguments if I say I want to live separately and move back in with my own parents. It's such a long story, but I've basically decided to commute to university for my final year so that I can be closer to him and my family. I feel like I'm only young, yet us living together has made our relationship 100x more serious. I love my independence, but have none living here. Now I know I can't escape back to living on my own again at university in September, I feel so on edge about how things are going to work out. I know I'm not happy, but not sure if it's because of the housing situation or the relationship. I know the only way I'm going to find out is if I move back home but what do I say to him? Anyone else been in this situation of being in a long term relationship at such a young age?I think my main problem is independence. Within a couple of months, I feel like I've lost all of it! No longer living on my own and making my own decisions but always trying to keep him and his family happy. I just don't want to upset him because I do not understand what these feelings mean. Any advice is welcome. Thanks.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just don't want to upset him because I do not understand what these feelings mean
    Sounds to me like you've no choice but to change things up or you will feel suffocated and resentful, and the relationship will suffer. Time for a serious heart to heart with your partner. Bear in mind: if you love someone, set them free (he should be understanding)

    I feel that it is perfectly fine to feel uncomfortable in someone else's home. Tell him you are not happy, it will make you feel better, if he doesn't like it then just say that you don't like it either. Could you say that travelling to uni will effect your education? Why not wait until you have done uni and stared working, so then you could afford to move into your own place.
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