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I don't feel anything?

Ugh, really don't want to write this but I need advice…

Basically, I'm really struggling to enjoy anything penetrative. Front door it just plain HURTS and back door no pain at all, but it doesn't feel like anything. Just…idk like there's something inside of me and it's just kind of there, doing it's thing. I feel so bad because my partners think it's something they're doing but it's not. I can't get off by myself either, penetrating with objects or my fingers. I get the natural response - get wet etc - but nothing resembling pleasure or pain.

I've tried everything. I've tried going slow, fast, I had a partner prep me for three hours for anal (and it was over in 2 mins lol) but nothing. I've tried different sizes (of dick and object :colondollar:

), nothing. I've tried watching porn, reading smut etc while doing it, but I still feel nothing. If I touch myself, it feels great, but it has absolutely nothing to do what's going on inside me and sort of makes penetration pointless for me. I'd have more fun fiddling away with my fingers without anything going in anywhere. I can get off in a minute flat like that.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong :frown:

I want to be able to enjoy this. I want my partners to not feel like they're **** in bed. Or that I am. I didn't care for a long while, figured it was Virgin's nerves, but it's been 2 years now and I'm starting to worry I might not ever enjoy actual in and out sex.

I'm 19, bi. I was abused as a child but nothing penetrative so that doesn't explain it. Am I missing nerves down there or something? LOL

Reply 1

unprinted

I can't get off by myself either,

But you can, just not via penetration. That's not surprising because most women don't, so the way that you can't is perfectly normal. Any partner who expects you to be able to is not very experienced, been lied to by previous partners, or a bit crap.

There are two main aspects to intercourse: the physical and the emotional. Although it doesn't do anything for you physically, do you get anything out of the emotional side of having a partner inside you?

What happens if someone/thing is stimulating your clitoris / elsewhere while someone/thing is inside you?

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Yes i hear you! I don't find penetrative sex enjoyable. Ive had a few boyfriends in the past and its just been s h i t everytime. Like it literally just feels like something going in and out of me, no enjoyment at all. I can make myself orgasm via clitoral stimulation, but a guy has never made me orgasm. Ever. And sex is just so unenjoyable. I have a current boyfriend and i love him, but when he wants to have sex i just feel so 'meh'. I know he enjoys it, but the penetration is so unenjoyable. I wish i could enjoy sex more, but i can't see that ever happening. I've always felt like this too, its not just a recent thing. I tried anal once too, AWFUL lol

Reply 3

Anonymous #3

Just gonna weigh in with a bit of hope for you..

I'm 23. I've had six sexual partners. Until my last one, I could have written your post word for word. It never did anything for me whatsoever. It frustrated me and I didn't know what to do about it at all.

Then I started dating someone a few months ago and even though this isn't going to help you, all I can say is that I finally feel something and can orgasm vaginally. He doesn't do anything different at all. Just from the first time we had sex it felt different, and I honestly can't tell you why. One thing I will say is that I am probably the most comfortable around him than I've been with other men. Maybe that has something to do with it? I don't know.

So even though I can't offer advice, I can offer hope. Maybe you will just one day feel it?

I'm kinda pessimistic that when I date someone else I'll no longer feel anything again and it will be a fluke :frown:

Reply 4

~Tara~

Vaginal sex shouldn't hurt that much, you should visit a gynaecologist. If you've experienced abuse then it's very likely you could have vaginismus - which can be treated.

A lot of people don't orgasm from anal sex, the stimulation is different. It's like a lot of people don't orgasm from having their nipples played with - but they become aroused