Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

My mum has put me off my dream job!

Announcements Posted on
Why bother with a post grad? Are they even worth it? Have your say! 26-10-2016

    if you let your family stand in the ways of your dreams you're a pussy man
    grow some balls

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I recently got a great graduate job offer from a top UK company. I am getting a decent salary (30k) and I'm graduating with a first, everything is going swimmingly for me.

    I've been thinking of my journey to work which would take 1 h 20 - 1 h 30 minutes each way. I thought this was too much as I would have to wake up earlier than I've ever woken up before. I wanted to live out for the first few months while I settle into my new workplace but my mum is trying to force me to stay at home which would make me unhappy. She tells me it's a waste of money (Asian parents) and promises that she would take me to the station every day thus cutting my journey time down to 1 hour 5 minutes (she also agreed to pick me up). This of course would mean that I sacrifice some social aspects as well as no gym on weekdays. But 1 hour 5 is more doable.... Whether she can keep up with her promises is another story but she usually does.

    But my mum is spewing so much propaganda and giving me horror stories about renting places that I am totally put off by living out. She also wants me to save money so I can buy my own house. At the same time I feel that I will be unhappy living at home due to the longer commute and I won't enjoy myself.

    Now I am put off working for this company because I don't know what the **** to do. It is my mum who has ruined the experience because she being Asian and protective would rather me save money and stay at home rather than live closer. I would like to save money though... but the office is a journey from east to west....

    Also, I've verbally agreed to share a flat with 2 of my new work colleagues and it's been 2 weeks into the discussion, would it be rude to just tell them I want out and to commute from home? This is another dilemma i'm facing.

    I think I'm in a position where my mum has put me under so much pressure that I would just turn down this job, which is unheard of for this kind of company. I am going insane because I have no idea what to do!!!

    Am I overreacting? What can I do?
    That's a huge salary, so you can definitely afford the rent. Maybe, as a mother, she doesn't want you to leave the nest.

    To put it bluntly you need to start being an adult and start thinking for yourself.

    Forget what your mum is saying. What do YOU think/want? Because through this whole thread I've not seen you speak for yourself once. Only ask what other people think YOU should do.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I told my mum i wanted to move out, she gets angry and tells me that I'm making a terrible decision because I'm "wasting money" and I have no concept on saving money... wtf
    you're unlikely to convince your mum to change her mind... you just need to make up your own mind and do what you want to do, it's your life and your money, you're capable of understanding that it will take longer to save a deposit if you're paying £6-700 a month in rent and bills but if it's worth it then you should go ahead

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I told my mum i wanted to move out, she gets angry and tells me that I'm making a terrible decision because I'm "wasting money" and I have no concept on saving money... wtf
    That's rubbish that she is getting angry at you but sometimes people get mad when they don't get their way and she probably does think she knows what is best for you but the reality is that part of growing up is making your own mistakes and also living independently, you might not save as much whilst renting but you're only young once!
Write a reply…


Submit reply


Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: July 5, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

I want...
Useful resources
Bizarre things students have spent their loans onThings you should budget for at uni

Sponsored features:

Making money from your own website

Need some cash?

How to make money running your own website.

Bianca Miller, runner-up on The Apprentice

Handle your digital footprint

What would an employer find out about you on Google? Find out how to take control.

Groups associated with this forum:

View associated groups

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.