Depression over unrequited love

thanks very much, I'm going to take into account everything you've said :smile:

Reply 21

He's being friendly again online; starting to 'like' my pictures again and makes more of an effort with conversation. He hasn't been flirty, but he's been friendly and making an effort to keep the convo going..
Like the other day, I told him I was 'going out now, bye, have a good weekend' (to end the convo) and he just carried it on by asking me another question :s

Reply 22

I do feel a little bit better but part of me still loves him... I know I just need to move on but I can't :s

Reply 23

Original post by Anonymous

I do feel a little bit better but part of me still loves him... I know I just need to move on but I can't :s

Well, I have no experience with this but I think what you've done so far has worked really well so you should try continuing. Foo's obviously more knowledgeable so I guess continue working in the tips and advice he gave and hopefully things will get a bit easier. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to stay friends with him? It's all up to you though. Just go with what you feel would make it easier :smile:

Reply 24

Thank you, I am going to do that yes :smile:

I do want to stay friends; I am much happier when we speak than when we don't, even though we're not seeing each other.

However, I'm going to be in the local area in about 10 days' time, and I'm unsure whether I would see him or not. He told me to let him know if i'd be there, and I said I would, but my friend says it's a really bad idea as it won't help me move on.

However, he's moving to the U.S in september for at least a year :frown:

so that's it, we're not going to see each other after this anyway :frown:

(maybe that was part of the reason for him not wanting to get into a relationship, but i'm not entirely sure...)
anyway, unsure as to why he's contuing to talk to me and such.. maybe he just wants to be friends.

Reply 25

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you, I am going to do that yes :smile:

so that's it, we're not going to see each other after this anyway :frown:

No worries :smile:

Then that's what I'd suggest you do.

Personally, I think you need to think, if he were to say that he'd want to make out or have a one night stand before he goes to America, would you be able to retain self control and not agree to it, even though you feel as if you still love him. If you feel you could resist and keep it platonic, then by all means, meet up. It'd be a nice thing to do before he leaves. However, if you don't think you could, then I'd agree with your friend.
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(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 26

That's a good point, thanks, I'll have to bear it in mind :smile:

To be honest, I don't imagine him trying anything, but who knows. I feel that i'd be able to resist, and I just think it'd be a shame not to see him. he says he'll come back every 6 months, but yeah, who knows if we'll see each other again.

I'll suggest it :smile:

Reply 27

Original post by Anonymous

That's a good point, thanks, I'll have to bear it in mind :smile:

Not a problem.

Good choice, I think. Have a great time, I hope it all goes well :smile:

Reply 28

queen-bee

OP going through the same thing ATM*
*
Foo,could your advice be helpful?*

Reply 29

Original post by queen-bee

OP going through the same thing ATM*
*
Foo,could your advice be helpful?*

I'm sorry to hear that :frown:

What's happened?

Reply 30

queen-bee

Original post by Foo.mp3

God loves you, my child :jebus:

See top of this page, for the pearls I dispensed, FYR :smile:

God loves us all but it's not just god's loving I want,it sucks being in an unrequited love situation*

Oh the move on from them pointers...*

Reply 31

Dr.Snake

Original post by queen-bee

God loves us all but it's not just god's loving I want,it sucks being in an unrequited love situation*

Oh the move on from them pointers...*

God loves you and nature loves you. Stay happy be happy. Chances are theres someone in unrequited love with you, so once you be with them you will both be happy. God blessU

Reply 32

I'm going to see him again in September.. I think that will be better and I could handle it then.

I suggested meeting next week; bad idea I know.... basically, i'm going to be visiting a city which is about 2h30 from his by train. I said i'd be there and suggested just on the off-chance that we could catch up. He first asked me why I was going.... and then after that he said that it'd be far for him to come, which I understood. I then suggested meeting halfway and he said that'd still be far, and that it'd be better for us to meet when he comes in September.

So, I guess he didn't really want to meet; I think he could have at least made the effort to meet halfway, but there you go, he didn't really want to.

Maybe I won't even see him in September, who knows. Anyway, i'm disappointed but I know this is for the best....

Reply 33

Original post by Anonymous

It's good to hear this. That sounds like a good idea :smile:

It does sound like he's not too keen on meeting but maybe he's just nervous after everything that's happened.
I think this may be for the best too :hugs:

Reply 34

Original post by Matrix123

It's good to hear this. That sounds like a good idea :smile:

It does sound like he's not too keen on meeting but maybe he's just nervous after everything that's happened.
I think this may be for the best too :hugs:

It could be that, yes :smile:

I admit it would have been weird/awkward anyway given that we had a few arguments and stuff last month about it... I suppose it's not like we can just see each other and be like heeey bro what's up.. lol

I suppose that he didn't want to get attached to anyone either; knowing that he was moving to the states.
Sadly I think he will be one of those people I always have some kind of soft spot for. I would never sleep with him again now or anything.. and even though I feel like he led me on and everything, if he asked me out tomorrow, I'd consider saying yes :frown:

I'm trying to meet someone else at the moment.. I don't see myself forgetting him completely, but, we'll see. :smile:

Reply 35

Original post by Anonymous

It could be that, yes :smile:

I'm trying to meet someone else at the moment.. I don't see myself forgetting him completely, but, we'll see. :smile:

Haha yeah

Well, I think it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all :smile:

As your friend said, it probably will just take a bit of time but it's improved so you're getting there.

That sounds great. Good luck with that! :smile:

Reply 36

Original post by Matrix123

Haha yeah

Well, I think it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all :smile:

As your friend said, it probably will just take a bit of time but it's improved so you're getting there.

That sounds great. Good luck with that! :smile:

thanks again for everything, appreciate it so much :smile:

Reply 37

Original post by Anonymous

thanks again for everything, appreciate it so much :smile:

No worries. I'll always be here if you need :wink:

Reply 38

I've come to ask for some more advice.. I have managed to only talk to him once in 2 weeks which is a massive achievement for me; given we were talking virtually daily before for 5 months.

He still likes my pictures and statuses on facebook which I know probably means absolutely nothing but it gives me hope.

I've stopped trying to work out his behaviour, as I'll never understand it, but I did find out something that hurt me.

One of my best friends (who is also good friends with him) has known him for 3 years now. She said that he was single for 2 years and nobody was interested in him, no dates or anything, and that he was quite fed-up.

I did meet him once in a bar a few months prior to when we started to get to know each other, and apparently he said to my friend that night that he found me very nice and attractive, but thought I was out of his league.

Then, when he found out the 2nd time that I liked him too, he was really happy. He was really shy with me but was saying to my friend and his flatmates that he liked me.

So we had been talking on facebook for a couple of weeks, getting on well, and it had become flirty. I went round there with the intention of asking him on a date, I told him I liked him, and he told me he liked me too and would have liked to go out with me but didn't want a girlfriend because of moving abroad soon.

I don't understand why he was so fed-up about being single, and so happy about me being interested in him and then he tells me right away he doesn't want a relationship ahyway...

I know it's irrelevant now but I just don't understand.. :frown:

Reply 39