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Help senior prefect application

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    Dear Ms Wilkinson,
    I am writing to you to express my enthusiasm to take on the role of becoming a school prefect. I know that there will be a myriad of suitable applications for this role, but I hope that in this letter I will give you satisfactory reason for you to appoint me.

    I’ve attended this school for a couple of years now and I feel that I have a favourable relationship with the teachers and students. I get along well with everyone in my year. The school has given me so much – helping me if I don’t understand something in a lesson and generally supporting me in achieving the most I can – and I now feel obliged to give something back. I have learnt a limitless amount in preparation of my GCSE’s, and I have also learnt a great deal about myself in the process; being a prefect will help me to expand my knowledge and help the school.

    I am confident that I can help to further improve the school. I work well with all kinds of characters, whether they are year 7 students, teachers, fellow classmates or friends, and I am capable of working on my own or in a team. I have also participated in the Team Maths Challenge and despite not being the oldest I managed to get 2nd out of many top schools which needed very good teamwork. As I have passed my DofE bronze I can tell I have much improved my teamwork skills. I am very good at getting my opinion across, but not in an obnoxious manner. I’m commendable at listening to other peoples’ ideas - rather than discarding a good idea or opinion, I would work hard to improve it to the best it can be - This is an especially excellent trait, as I have heard (on many occasions) students complaining about feeling that their opinions and suggestions have been rejected.

    Finally, as a prefect, I believe that I would be able to help the school to become a better place.

    I really feel there is much to improve on so could you leave the help thanks

    Try avoiding the first sentence. Although in this sense it doesn't sound too bad, it's better to avoid in writing letters 'I am writing to you to..' .. because it's obvious you're doing that. Instead, start with something more interesting.You could say something along the lines of..I envision a senior prefect to be a role model for the students in the lower years. They are someone who are looked up to, they are there to help, advise and guide students who have problems. Senior prefects need to be approachable, flexible and polite - these are such qualities I possess, therefore I believe I may be a suitable candidate for this position.

    That could be your intro ^^ from 'I envision...suitable candidate'. However, you could weave in the 'myriad of suitable candidates' phrase somewhere as it sounds good.

    Avoid 'get along'...it's better to say 'I work well with'..

    After the DofE part, you simply sort of list skills, give examples where you have demonstrated them.

    Your last paragraph needs to be more developed - how would you make the school a better place? Think creatively, what would you do different that no-one has successfully done yet?Other than that, all seems good...you have a good outline and structure.

    Also, may I know what you would like your career to be when you grow up? You could weave something in about that and how the senior prefect role would be helpful.
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