It's a sexual orientation, no different to people being gay, bisexual, pan-sexual etc.
The problem comes when people decide to act on their urges and carry out sex with a minor, which i'm fairly certain, 99% of paedophiles do not. I have no problem with people being attracted to children as they were born with it, they didn't choose to be attracted to children, just like the gay person didn't choose to be attracted to the same gender, i think in today's society we scrutinise paedophilia, when we should only be scrutinising those who act on their urges. It is double standards to accept gay people into our society but not paedophiles. They were both born with their sexual ideals.
There are many paedophiles out there that are forced to live in the closet because if they came out, they'd be labelled a 'monster' and 'disgusting' when in reality they would never ever act on their urges, and their sexual orientation is what they were born with, just like you were lucky enough to be born straight.
I genuinely feel bad for people born with this sexual orientation, as it means they'll have to live with their secret for their whole lives, and probably never get into a relationship, as they are simply not attracted to older people.
I honestly believe quite a large percentage of people are attracted to minors, but we will never know the actual numbers as it's not something people go around admitting.
We should be consoling these people, not scrutinising them, they were born with an unfortunate sexual orientation. They haven't done anything wrong, up until the point when they act on their urges, as that would be damaging to the child. I feel sorry for those who can't possible make love with those who they are attracted to without being imprisoned and without damaging the health of someone, its a horrible thought.
I would love to hear your views on this.
Paedophiles are NOT BAD PEOPLE!
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- Thread Starter
- 07-07-2016 14:27
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- 07-07-2016 15:04
Your last point is worth discussion: do you also feel sorry for those who suffer unrequited love and cannot have sex with another (adult) person who they love or fancy? What about the pretty blonde in the coffee shop, or the tall guy that lives next door? People want to have sex with them but those people control their urges. I don't believe that paedophilia is something you are born with, I think it is something which is caused by things we do not fully understand: previous abuse; sexual experimentation or a dominant personality which manifests itself by wanting sex and power over the vulnerable.
I don't feel sorry for paedophiles; I feel sorry for their victims and sorry what happened to them. I don't hate paedophiles and I don't want them lynched, but while they may not be able to 'help' what they are, they are certainly capable of controlling themselves. If they cannot control themselves then they should be punished, just as a kleptomaniac or serial arsonist is punished and - hopefully - rehabilitated.
I met a convicted paedophile once. He was desperate to tell me his story. I did not want to know but he persisted (I could not leave - I was working in a bail hostel where he was staying). He did not have to share what he did with me: he wanted to. He seemed to think it gave him status or he wanted my approval. Psychologists talk about this as 'currency' to be traded: secret for secret. He told me he 'did the right' thing by pleading guilty at court. I told him he could have done the right thing by not sexually abusing his grandchildren, but the irony was lost on him.
There are lots of paedophiles out there and many control themselves, but I will not feel sorry for somebody who sexually assaults any other person for any reason.
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- 07-07-2016 16:40
They are neither good nor bad, like everyone.
- 08-07-2016 00:45
Last year a policeman came into our school to talk to us about rape and paedophilia and he said you'd be surprised at the amount of people who turn themselves into the police because they're attracted to minors when they haven't done anything about it. Honestly I do feel sorry for paedophiles (that is, the ones who choose not to act on it) because their sexual orientation is just...wrong. Nobody they're attracted to could ever consent to anything.
I think there should be a wider known anonymous system where people who experience these feelings could get proper help, or else they'll just end up thinking about it more and more until they become obsessed with the idea of watching or doing completely illegal, not to mention immoral, acts.