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How to show my male friend I don't fancy him. He avoid me because he thinks I do!

I met this guy through friends and I always though he was gay even though he had a girlfriend as people told me he was. I was really friendly with him and complimentary. If I had known at the time he was straight I would have avoided doing so as I would have known he might take it the wrong way. After knowing him for 6 months he came up to me and said he wanted me to know he was not gay as he knows people sometimes say he is. I believe him and I also presume he is reasonably happy with his girlfriend although he sometimes puts down their relationship.

The issue is he largely ignores me when we are out in a group together. If we happen to be walking together or are left alone he will always walk away. He is never nasty but just avoids most interaction with me. He's a decent guy and I can't have done anything to upset him so I honestly think he thinks I fancy him and doesn't want to give me the wrong impression lol. He makes a massive deal of pointing out hot girls when I'm in the group when my friends say he doesn't do that when I'm not there. I've tried to let him know that I'm not interested by no longer complimenting him and just not being as friendly but it's so awkward with the two of us now and I really need him to know I don't fancy him and won't be asking him out or trying to snog him if he's alone with me!! haha. How do I best go about this?

He's always been like this, didn't want to be alone with me as unintentionally I think I've come across as interested in him.

Of course he might just really not like me and something about me annoys him. But if I can eliminate one possible scenario and know he just doesn't like me that would be good.
Sleep with his girlfriend so he thinks you're a lesbian.

There would be a lovely symmetry to that
Reply 2
Or not! lol.
Reply 3
You a guy or girl??

He's avoiding you, you avoid him..simple as that. Nothing to rectify or 'sort' out. Just let him be ffs

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Reply 4
:rofl:
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
I met this guy through friends and I always though he was gay even though he had a girlfriend as people told me he was. I was really friendly with him and complimentary. If I had known at the time he was straight I would have avoided doing so as I would have known he might take it the wrong way. After knowing him for 6 months he came up to me and said he wanted me to know he was not gay as he knows people sometimes say he is. I believe him and I also presume he is reasonably happy with his girlfriend although he sometimes puts down their relationship.

The issue is he largely ignores me when we are out in a group together. If we happen to be walking together or are left alone he will always walk away. He is never nasty but just avoids most interaction with me. He's a decent guy and I can't have done anything to upset him so I honestly think he thinks I fancy him and doesn't want to give me the wrong impression lol. He makes a massive deal of pointing out hot girls when I'm in the group when my friends say he doesn't do that when I'm not there. I've tried to let him know that I'm not interested by no longer complimenting him and just not being as friendly but it's so awkward with the two of us now and I really need him to know I don't fancy him and won't be asking him out or trying to snog him if he's alone with me!! haha. How do I best go about this?

He's always been like this, didn't want to be alone with me as unintentionally I think I've come across as interested in him.

Of course he might just really not like me and something about me annoys him. But if I can eliminate one possible scenario and know he just doesn't like me that would be good.


Just flat out ask him why he is avoiding you. I will make things so much easier. They if he is worried about you liking him you can tell him its not a thing
Reply 6
I'm a girl. See I'm certain if I ask him he will only say hes not avoiding me. And then it will be even more awkward. But we can't just have it the way it is. It's uncomfortable and affecting how I feel about meeting up in our group.
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a girl. See I'm certain if I ask him he will only say hes not avoiding me. And then it will be even more awkward. But we can't just have it the way it is. It's uncomfortable and affecting how I feel about meeting up in our group.


If you don't like him, why do you care what he thinks?

It's like The Weeknd says there's a room full of niggaaaaaaaaaas, what you bothering me foooooor.
Reply 8
Original post by swirly
If you don't like him, why do you care what he thinks?

It's like The Weeknd says there's a room full of niggaaaaaaaaaas, what you bothering me foooooor.


It's because we have mutual friends and its awkward. I want him to be comfortable around me or at least civil and not run away whenever we have to be alone. It's bizarre/rude. If it's something as simple as him thinking I fancy him it's rectifiable if I can find a way to show him I don't see him that way. I just don't know how to do it.
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
It's because we have mutual friends and its awkward. I want him to be comfortable around me or at least civil and not run away whenever we have to be alone. It's bizarre/rude. If it's something as simple as him thinking I fancy him it's rectifiable if I can find a way to show him I don't see him that way. I just don't know how to do it.


Are you Polish?
Original post by swirly
Are you Polish?


nope. british
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
nope. british


Ah that's difficult. It just that I know light-skin Polish girls go to rooftop parties with guys, and if you uploaded the pics to insta he would get the message. :redface:
Send him nudes, make sure his girlfriends sees then sleep with his brother/ best mate, whether you like him or not will be the least of his issues at that point


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Thanks for the replies guys! lol
Original post by swirly
Ah that's difficult. It just that I know light-skin Polish girls go to rooftop parties with guys, and if you uploaded the pics to insta he would get the message. :redface:


this would work and despite how stereotypical this sounds OP it is true I used to sell vodka for these events
Reply 15
Original post by jamesthehustler
this would work and despite how stereotypical this sounds OP it is true I used to sell vodka for these events


oh really, how did you get into that pal? (if you don't mind me asking)
Original post by swirly
oh really, how did you get into that pal? (if you don't mind me asking)


my girlfriend at the time was half polish and so we would go to these events and I was buying vodka (and other alcohol) from bankruptcy auctions and was reselling it at a profit as it is rather overlooked at these auctions most guys are after electronics, memorabilia and jewellery or designer bags so you can usually pick up alcohol for next to nothing compared to its value
I had bottles of varying degrees
I'd sell at these events- just vodka mainly good stuff as well like belvedere and grey goose occasionally big sets of cheaper brands like Smirnoff (30 bottles or so)
bottles I'd keep- some cognac and champagnes as well as grey goose
bottles I'd sell to a local restaurant- high-end whiskies, cognacs and champagnes- 15 years plus on the spirits and £100 or more bottles of champagne like krug, dom Perignon and cristal
and bottles I used to take to London bars to sell- these were rare but there were a limited few like a 1875 sealed cognac
Lol, I think our stories are a bit similar. I used to have a male friend, whose male friend told me that he fancied me. People in our class used to make fun of us and say we are gong out together. I did not like him in that way, I only liked him as a friend. So, when an acquaintance at school, he and I were at school together, the acquaintance made fun of us saying we should go out blah blah. I told her, with him present, that I only saw him as a brother. And I flat out also told him that I did not like him that way, as it got awkward after that day.

NB: I am was and still am a practicing Christian, so there was no way we are actually going to "go out" lol.

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