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When someone you care about won't help himself,

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    what do you do? My parents found out that for 3 years my brother has been failing university while keeping it all a secret and making us think he was passing. Now Student Finance won't fund him for another year and my parents won't fund him either.

    He still doesn't know what to do with his life and keeps saying things like "I'll just get a job". I was shocked and disappointed at first but now I'm just sad. I have been researching degree apprenticeships and he doesn't seem keen on any of them. He apologised for not asking me for help in the first place and acknowledged that everything that happened was his fault, but I don't want him ending up depressed and feeling like his life is going nowhere. Nearly everyone in the family has finished university but he doesn't seem to want to go back. This wouldn't be such a bad thing if he had some sort of passion and sense of direction.

    Any advice?

    I call tell you from real experience that you can do everything in the world for that person but if he does not want to help himself then, things become out of your control. Have you tried to talk to him in more detail. What does he want to do, what is he interesting. Many people can do some great work without the need of university. If he is not interesting in university then there is little point for one to go there.

    To my believe everyone has a passion, however some people find it harder to find out what their passion is. Sadly, if your brother is not ready to help himself, then there is not much you can continue to do.

    It is worth pointing out that social expectations of men can make it very difficult to speak out about mental health problems.

    Also in general with mental health it is more than just waving the magic wand and the willpower appears. It's about taking very small steps to dig yourself out of what is often a deep, deep trench when being all the while convinced that what you're doing to improve yourself is completely pointless.
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