I feel torn between the part of my family on my father's side that is kind and cares, and doing what I would like to. These relatives are quite poor and live in a different country but I could still live there with them because, like I said, they feel like family and care. I grew up with mother elsewhere and I still have similar wants, to work and graduate in UK, but this takes money, effort and good friends. Because of a bad family situation and upbringing, it is not easy to do it all alone and not ask family for money. Still I know I am capable and I don't want to throw away what I worked for. But doing it, I feel more and more alone, I am away from friends in home country and there is the family background, too. There is no support and no care, I might as well be homeless and it is not worth to ask them for money because they just ignore more or we argue. I also feel far from the part of family on father's side. The country they live in is itself torn and it is hard to get work, the pay is less, etc. but people do live there and I think it should be possible. It is not in the EU. I feel alright there but I don't want to do a mistake ...
I could also live in the country I grew up in but I can feel lonely there, too, and I am not yet in the UK which was my wish. Like I said, being close to that part of family is not that helpful (I would rather be far from it) but it is a bit closer to the kind part of family and friends I went to school with.
I will need to decide how to proceed and would like some good advice because I feel completely lost. I don't want to make a big mistake but I don't think I should just do it all alone at this point. So what do you think?
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