The Student Room Group

Got myself into a bad situation.

I'm going to preface this by stating that I am fully aware of how foolish I have been.

I started my first year at University last autumn. Up until University I was very excited, I enjoyed college a lot and couldn't wait to meet like-minded people and really come out of my shell. I left college feeling elated and had a great summer, until a few weeks before University. I started to feel really depressed, and I mean suicidally so. I still have no idea why I felt that way, I would think about suicide every day. These feelings continued throughout my first term at University, I made no friends because I wanted to sleep all of the time. I would just go to University, do my lectures and seminars and then go back home.

In February I just stopped going. I feel ridiculous saying this, but I didn't inform the University at all. After 2 weeks I went to my doctor about my feelings and he recommended going to see a University counsellor. I never did, I did nothing but sleep and watch trashy movies for about 4 months; I was sleeping about 12-13 hours every time. The suicidal thoughts also persisted. I am making this thread because I want to know what my options are. Can I contact the University at all or will I just be dismissed as a time waster?

After contemplating my options without seeing my degree all the way through, it honestly seems dire and I now realise the opportunity that I have squandered. I have been uneasy with the notion of explaining how I have felt after so long because I feel they may just see that as attempting to elicit sympathy.

After the time I put into college I cannot believe that I have effectively ruined my life after a few months.
Original post by myname3214
I'm going to preface this by stating that I am fully aware of how foolish I have been.

I started my first year at University last autumn. Up until University I was very excited, I enjoyed college a lot and couldn't wait to meet like-minded people and really come out of my shell. I left college feeling elated and had a great summer, until a few weeks before University. I started to feel really depressed, and I mean suicidally so. I still have no idea why I felt that way, I would think about suicide every day. These feelings continued throughout my first term at University, I made no friends because I wanted to sleep all of the time. I would just go to University, do my lectures and seminars and then go back home.

In February I just stopped going. I feel ridiculous saying this, but I didn't inform the University at all. After 2 weeks I went to my doctor about my feelings and he recommended going to see a University counsellor. I never did, I did nothing but sleep and watch trashy movies for about 4 months; I was sleeping about 12-13 hours every time. The suicidal thoughts also persisted. I am making this thread because I want to know what my options are. Can I contact the University at all or will I just be dismissed as a time waster?

After contemplating my options without seeing my degree all the way through, it honestly seems dire and I now realise the opportunity that I have squandered. I have been uneasy with the notion of explaining how I have felt after so long because I feel they may just see that as attempting to elicit sympathy.

After the time I put into college I cannot believe that I have effectively ruined my life after a few months.


Well first of all you need to speak to someone who can help and is trained in these problems. You won't be seen as a time waster they are there to help with these type of problems you might have to resit the year and a doctors note could help there your first year may be capped if you don't go for EC.

If you do decide to retake the year defer your re sit and take a year to get your head straight.

do you have any intrests like sports if you don't I'd take one up something like climbing or skiing have a really great supportive group of people around them and you feel part of a kind of community. it's also great for stress relief.

Anyway I hope you feel better soon.
Reply 2
You got and felt your studies too serious. I would definitely advice you to start rethinking about it. You should enjoy doing everything. Make friends, go out, study together, make fun, sport. Anyway when you will graduate, you won't remember the days you overslept and did nothing. Believe me there is nothing better and funnier and free than being a student.
Original post by myname3214
I'm going to preface this by stating that I am fully aware of how foolish I have been.

I started my first year at University last autumn. Up until University I was very excited, I enjoyed college a lot and couldn't wait to meet like-minded people and really come out of my shell. I left college feeling elated and had a great summer, until a few weeks before University. I started to feel really depressed, and I mean suicidally so. I still have no idea why I felt that way, I would think about suicide every day. These feelings continued throughout my first term at University, I made no friends because I wanted to sleep all of the time. I would just go to University, do my lectures and seminars and then go back home.

In February I just stopped going. I feel ridiculous saying this, but I didn't inform the University at all. After 2 weeks I went to my doctor about my feelings and he recommended going to see a University counsellor. I never did, I did nothing but sleep and watch trashy movies for about 4 months; I was sleeping about 12-13 hours every time. The suicidal thoughts also persisted. I am making this thread because I want to know what my options are. Can I contact the University at all or will I just be dismissed as a time waster?

After contemplating my options without seeing my degree all the way through, it honestly seems dire and I now realise the opportunity that I have squandered. I have been uneasy with the notion of explaining how I have felt after so long because I feel they may just see that as attempting to elicit sympathy.

After the time I put into college I cannot believe that I have effectively ruined my life after a few months.

Make that appointment with the uni counsellor or talk to an academic adviser or uni mentor
I'd just like to start by saying that I can empathise with your situation. I went through almost the exact same thing in Sixth Form. There is absolutely no reason you should feel foolish, what has happened to you is entirely understandable and to anyone who understands long-term lack of motivation to live, it is blatantly obvious that this is not your fault. If anything, you've done incredibly, and shown huge amounts of inner strength to have even made it this far considering you've been suffering through what sounds like a hellish 4 months.

Can I contact the University at all or will I just be dismissed as a time waster?


I can say with absolute confidence that you won't be dismissed as a time waster, you just need to explain your situation. I say "just", I know it can be difficult to accurately get across what you've been going through and why. If you can't do this, then you should speak to your University counsellor (or other health professional that you'd be more comfortable speaking to, but the counsellor at your University would be the easiest option, as they have direct contact with the University) and explain your situation to them, then they can speak to the University on your behalf.

After contemplating my options without seeing my degree all the way through, it honestly seems dire and I now realise the opportunity that I have squandered. I have been uneasy with the notion of explaining how I have felt after so long because I feel they may just see that as attempting to elicit sympathy.


You have not squandered anything yet. I can empathise with how you feel about explaining your situation, and all I can do is tell you is that that is absolutely not the case. They have dealt with things like this before, and they will take you seriously. It's easy to think that everyone else will just think you're being an attention-seeker or think you're lying, or whatever other thing, because it feeds into and affirms that inner self-hatred. But it's simply not true.

After the time I put into college I cannot believe that I have effectively ruined my life after a few months.


You haven't ruined your life, or wasted the time you put into college. You earned your place at University, and the results of your work at college aren't going anywhere.


Where do you go from here?

The first step, and I think you already know what it is, is talking to somebody.
Make an appointment with your University counsellor, and go to it. Make another appointment with your doctor. Get a referral to the mental health services. You need to get across the severity of your situation, and don't downplay it. You have a very valid reason for your absence from your university course and you have so many options from here.

* One thing to keep in mind is that you won't always get along with every counsellor or doctor, if you feel like you're not being heard, don't give up, there will be somebody who will understand you *

If you're close to some of your family, or if you have any close friends, lean on them for support. If not, ring a mental health helpline, like Mind. You are valuable, and people want to help you.

If things worsen, or you have a particularly bad spell of suicide ideation, don't hesitate to call the emergency services for help. You won't get sectioned or anything like that, they are really kind and helpful, in my experience.

I know it's not much, but if you want to message me, please feel free, sometimes it can be helpful to talk to a stranger. Hope it wasn't condescending, I didn't intend for it to be.

Take care.
(edited 7 years ago)

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