We had a meeting this afternoon to be explained how student exchanges would work with Japanese partner universities.
It made it much more concrete suddenly that I was in a competition with 60-65 other students to earn one of the mere 14 places available next year. It's a bit daunting. I'm one of the good students in the class, but there are so many other students wanting to go to Japan for their 3rd year, some of them so much better than I am.
I was like "meh" for my exchange in Ireland - I'm able to speak good English for quite some time now. But I still feel so lame at Japanese, particularly in spoken Japanese as I don't understand anything at all and I'm so slow at speaking. I'm torn between feelings of "****, I want to go" and "****, I'm not good enough yet".
I guess all I can do is do my best :s