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Feel compared to his ex

My boyfriend of five months, age 32, tends to bring up his ex in conversation. He says stuff like "When I lived with my ex,.." or "I was on this holiday with my brother, my ex," etc just mentioning times he was with her. Fair enough they were together 6 years, but they were broken up for 5 months before we met. They don't talk, they hate each other now. Those didn't bother me, as he didn't talk personally about her, just the holiday or the thing that happened rather than her or their relationship.. until the other day

I was feeling worried about a girl giving him attention on facebook so I just asked him about her. He then told me I've nothing to worry about, then told me how his ex used to constantly be paranoid and check his facebook. I felt like i was being compared to his paranoid ex for calmly asking him about one person on his facebook who was giving him constant attention. He also told me he's felt worried when walking about town with me as his ex girlfriend lives there too and "It would be awkward." However, he's told me I'm amazing, the most serious he's ever felt about anyone, and that when he got with me he realised how horrible his ex girlfriend was to him cause I'm nice. Compliments, but still feeling compared.

He's a lovely guy and I don't think he realises he's doing it or how it's making me feel. I've tried to show very little interest when he mentions an ex, never encouraging the conversation or asking questions about her. I get the impression he is over her and doesn't want her back, they don't talk, but she keeps coming into conversation with him and I want him to stop without sounding rude. Any advice?
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Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend of five months, age 32, tends to bring up his ex in conversation. He says stuff like "When I lived with my ex,.." or "I was on this holiday with my brother, my ex," etc just mentioning times he was with her. Fair enough they were together 6 years, but they were broken up for 5 months before we met. They don't talk, they hate each other now. Those didn't bother me, as he didn't talk personally about her, just the holiday or the thing that happened rather than her or their relationship.. until the other day

I was feeling worried about a girl giving him attention on facebook so I just asked him about her. He then told me I've nothing to worry about, then told me how his ex used to constantly be paranoid and check his facebook. I felt like i was being compared to his paranoid ex for calmly asking him about one person on his facebook who was giving him constant attention. He also told me he's felt worried when walking about town with me as his ex girlfriend lives there too and "It would be awkward." However, he's told me I'm amazing, the most serious he's ever felt about anyone, and that when he got with me he realised how horrible his ex girlfriend was to him cause I'm nice. Compliments, but still feeling compared.

He's a lovely guy and I don't think he realises he's doing it or how it's making me feel. I've tried to show very little interest when he mentions an ex, never encouraging the conversation or asking questions about her. I get the impression he is over her and doesn't want her back, they don't talk, but she keeps coming into conversation with him and I want him to stop without sounding rude. Any advice?

Talk to him, calmly. Try and make him understand, tell him that you don't mind him mentioning her but you don't want to be compared. If he loves you like he says he'll understand. You can't always expect hinting to work unfortunately:redface:

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