Living with boyfriend?

Me and my boyfriend are looking to move in together soon. We've been together 2.5 years but even so for me it feels too soon. What's it like living with someone? For me, I like to be able to spend time with him but then come back to my own house for space and to see my friends - I like my room and how it's laid out - if I'm sharing a room with him there won't be room for all my things. Plus what if you argue? There's nowhere to go. Just feels strange. Plus it's a lot more expensive than a house share. Maybe I'm worrying over nothing*

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

You've more or less answered your question really :P

You enjoy coming home after spending time with him and enjoying your own space and friends. Whereas if you moved in with him, you'll be with him for more or less the entire time you are home. You'll need to get to the stage where you want to spend a good chunk of your time with him to feel fully comfortable with him, and the fact that you're having second thoughts about this and worrying about it shows you're not fully onboard with the idea.

Talk to him about it, say that you're not sure if it would be the best thing and that you're worried fights could happen and that both of you may get sick of each other after a while.

Hope this helps, good luck Anon. o/

Reply 2

Zarek

Agree it's not something to rush in to. But it's also a sort of natural relationship progression step. Although I did have a female friend who despite many relationships had a golden rule not to live with anyone, so marriage when the time came would be special. If you're not ready for it best to tell him although it might raise the question when the time will be right. Personally after a few years of a weekend relationship - albeit with long holidays as she is a teacher - I found living together magical.

Reply 3

Anonymous #3

I plan to move in with my boyfriend of 4 months in 2 months time. We spend all our free time together, fed up of annoying flatmates and it`ll be much cheaper! so excited, and it feels so right! can`t wait

Reply 4

claireestelle

Original post by Anonymous

I moved in with mine at 4 months( and at just over 2.5 years we re now planning to get married next year )but every relationship is different and to be honest you don't sound particularly ready, although you ll never know until you try.

I ve always loved living with him. Also there's nothing to say you can't have space if you want too, assuming you have more than a studio there's always a room to go if you want to.
It's always been cheaper living together for us, you get economies of scale with food and bills that saves you money. I eat much better when I share my meals everyday.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by claireestelle

how did you know it was the right thing to do? At 4 months that's very early - what did your friends and parents say?

I think in some ways I'm ready, I just overthink things. It wouldn't be till next year anyway and we would have been together 3+ years so that's a good amount or time. It does seem like the next logical step, though I do worry about being trapped living with someone if it all went wrong plus the loss of living with more people. He works different hours to me and weekends so I'm worried I'd be lonely in the house on my own a lot (don't have many friends here as only moved up recently). *

Reply 6

claireestelle

Original post by Anonymous

I just went for it really, mum is very supportive with all my life choices and my friends wanted me to be careful but appreciate I ve got a sensible head on my shoulders. I d say we normally have at least a day with the place to ourselves each week and I never get lonely. I just go out shopping or watch tv programmes he doesn't like, I have always generally found stuff to do.

Reply 7

Rum Ham

Living with your partner can be great but it can be annoying at times too. No matter how great a couple you are, you will argue, you will find out things about them that annoy you that you didn't notice before, money might be tight and arguments might happen over that while living together but from my experience, the positives far outweigh the negatives when living with a partner.

Me and my bf moved in together to our own flat after dating for about 6 months but he was living with my gran at the time before that for a good few months after his dad kicked him out so I was used to seeing him nearly 24/7 as I stayed with my gran a lot so it gave us good practice for living together.

You can still have 'me time' while living together. You can still go out with friends, do things apart etc while living together. You shouldn't feel restricted by living together. As for the arguments, they are going to happen whether you want them to or not. As long as they don't happen every day or are violent, then they are just a part of every relationship and shouldn't put any dent on the feelings you have for each other. I personally believe that if living together causes too much arguments and strain and causes more problems than it resolves then its a good sign that maybe the relationship wasn't right or destined to be a long term relationship.

It is a big decision to live together but don't be scared of the 'what ifs' but don't also don't jump head first in and move in together without talking it through with each other and anyone else you want to talk about it.

Edit - in regards to where we keep out possessions, I have one wardrobe to myself and then we share a large Chet's of drawers. My partner doesn't have many clothes or household possessions so having space for mine was never an issue :colondollar:

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Another question - where do you put all your stuff? All my clothes, shoes and makeup fill my room - before my boyfriends stuff would have to fit in there. Do you share a wardrobe or have one each?*