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Effort declining in relationship

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Why bother with a post grad? Are they even worth it? Have your say! 26-10-2016
    • Thread Starter

    We've been together a few months. He's lovely and trustworthy, but I feel like I'm the only one making plans, talking about the future, leading the conversation all the time.. I want him to step up and do this now. A couple months ago I told him I feel like I'm making all the plans, so he made one day out, then it was left up to me again. Is this normal to have to ask someone to put in effort to make plans?

    NB, I'm not leaving him, we're in love. Just he depends on me to do everything then when I pull away, very little happens. He's not losing interest, just too dependent on me. What else can I say or do to get him to step up and put in more effort?

    some people just don't change, it doesn't mean they don't care or don't want to make effort, it might be they're bad at planning, think you're better, are worried about making bad plans etc or it might just not occur to them... other people might gradually get the hang of it after regular reminders

    you just need to decide how much effort you want to invest in trying to change his behaviour and then give it a go

    You may find that his idea of a relationship is different to yours. I think you need to talk to him and tell him what it is you really want from him.
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