Don't worry so much, man. Some people are complete idiots who make it awkward for you to talk much. Probably along the way people have put you down too much. Overall, hang in there. It will get better from here.
Listen though, you need to get out there and do something with your life, and I don't mean just something that is regarded by a bunch of people as being 'cool' or an 'achievement' such as I don't know, getting a girlfriend or something. You are on this earth for a reason, and you should work on achieving your own goals. Next, you sound like you are putting yourself down way too much. Thinking about the past ain't gonna help you mate, forget all of it. See you've "forced yourself not to care" but really you do, and it's eating you up inside. Don't focus on that one bit. "Socially inadequate"? What ****. You have your whole flipping life ahead of you, so just get out there. Yeah and maybe the victories will be small,and maybe you'll take three steps back for every one forward, but don't worry. Literally force yourself to do something productive for 15 minutes a day, apply for a job, study, idk.
Good luck man, I mean it! You deserve better.