Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Ex interested, then silent

Announcements Posted on
Why bother with a post grad? Are they even worth it? Have your say! 26-10-2016
    • Thread Starter

    So I posted on here a few days ago asking about my current situation with my ex. Unfrotunately I did so at God knows what o'clock and didn't get too many thoughts, so just wanted to ask again.

    We broke up 2 years ago, ostensibly for uni. It was incredibly intense whilst we were together and she would often talk of our futures, kids etc. She confirmed this to independent parties as well, so I know she meant it.

    Recently she got back in contact with me, having just returned home for the Summer. She was immediately keen to meet up suggesting we do it as soon as possible.

    Meeting up, we had a really fantastic time and I could tell how keen she was to meet up again. Next day she was heavily hinting at a meet, so we went to the beach for the evening and ended up sleeping together. Afterwards she said how excited she had been to see me again, how she hadn't felt the same way about anyone since we had ended and how we get on better than she does with almost anyone else. She also reminisced about how great our relationship had been, cursed the timing of it and asked if I thought we would still be together were it not for uni.

    Over the next few days we were both busy but she contacted me saying how she had loved our time together recently and wanted to meet up over the Summer more. She also kept sending flirtatious messages ie. how she wanted me in her bed, with her etc. A few days later she suggested we meet for a walk, during which she tried to hold my hand, establish physical contact etc. and was enthusiastic to kiss, after I initiated.

    Flirtatious messaging continued that evening so next day I suggested we meet again, but she was busy. After more messaging across the day, I finished by telling her that I was going away for the next week and if she wanted to meet in the days before she should let me know.

    Three weeks have passed since then, and I have heard practically nothing, she just occasionally unenthusiastically messages me, or unenthusiastically responds. I recently suggested we meet up again but she basically palmed it off with a 'maybe' and 'I'll let you know'. Eventually she messaged on the day suggested, asking for a coffee, but it felt very much like an afterthought.

    Up until this point, I have played it pretty casual, not certain of what I wanted from this renewed contact, just as she seemed uncertain. But the change from 'I'm having such a fantastic time' etc. and 'I still haven't felt the way I felt about you; maybe that's why I got in contact' etc. to no/minimal effort seemingly overnight confused me.

    As such, I sent a message to her asking whether something had changed, telling her that if she thought it a bad idea, or had other things going on, that was fine, but I'd like to know, as I'd be pleased to see her more. She responded by telling me that she had really enjoyed the time with me, hadn't met anyone else or anything of the sort, but didn't want to head back towards 'us', since she is just coming off the back of a relationship, and a rocky personal period as a result.

    On the night we slept together, I told her that I wasn't willing to be a rebound, or a distraction and she assured me this wasn't the case, but now i just don't know. I can't understand the change, nor can I understand how she can have had such a great time and talk about me and our relationship in such a rose-tinted way, and yet not want to explore this further. What are your thoughts? Apologies for the length of this also.

    Rebound mate.
    • Thread Starter

    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    Rebound mate.
    Thing is she already had a rebound - broke up with her ex, then was with a guy for about 2 months, then broke it off to get back with the ex, then they ended again 2 months later. That's when we got together again.

    Still a rebound mate. She's looking for comfort with a familiar face.
Write a reply…


Submit reply


Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: July 31, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Which is your favourite handheld games console?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.