I genuinely believe that I am undateable
Scroll to see replies
Original post by 1 8 13 20 42
I notice you have not responded to my questioning whether or not you have ever asked a guy out. If you just expect to be approached, you might wait a while. If you are interested in a guy, make a move. There are simply no grounds for being so pessimistic if you haven't actually tried.
I could never ever ever ask a guy out, it's not in me to do that, especially when you see your friends get asked out, of course I will show if I'm keen but I wouldn't personally ask out. I think it's sweet when the boy does.
Original post by Anonymous
I could never ever ever ask a guy out, it's not in me to do that, especially when you see your friends get asked out, of course I will show if I'm keen but I wouldn't personally ask out. I think it's sweet when the boy does.
Well, odds are that eventually it will still work out for you. This will be true even for conventionally unattractive women, which you are not. But like I said, you could be waiting a while. At the very least you can show your keenness more obviously perhaps.
Original post by 1 8 13 20 42
Well, odds are that eventually it will still work out for you. This will be true even for conventionally unattractive women, which you are not. But like I said, you could be waiting a while. At the very least you can show your keenness more obviously perhaps.
I just feel like obviously keenness needs to work both ways, but if I was to get a boyfriend I would love to tell my friends he asked me out etc rather than me if you know what I mean it's sweet
Don't put pressure on yourself. I'd take you out...
Original post by TorpidPhil
PRSOM.
If you do not look you shall not find.
If you do not look you shall not find.
I do look, I put myself out there so much and it doesn't work hence why I am doubting if boys want to date me.
And yes TSR Mustafa I'll take your advice on board and try to lose some weight, in the process currently
Original post by Anonymous
I just feel like obviously keenness needs to work both ways, but if I was to get a boyfriend I would love to tell my friends he asked me out etc rather than me if you know what I mean it's sweet
Well there you go, you have certain emotional barriers that prevent you from maximising your chance of being with someone. Your feelings seem very normal but I am just saying, no need to get down on yourself if you have not come close to exhausting your options. I would say that having a good relationship is the better option regardless of how it is attained, but obviously you have to decide what is of most importance to you.
Original post by 1 8 13 20 42
Well there you go, you have certain emotional barriers that prevent you from maximising your chance of being with someone. Your feelings seem very normal but I am just saying, no need to get down on yourself if you have not come close to exhausting your options. I would say that having a good relationship is the better option regardless of how it is attained, but obviously you have to decide what is of most importance to you.
Aw man this is exhausting thinking about it all
Same OP, I feel the same too. 😔
Let's think round this conundrum. So you don't want to ask a man out- presumably because of the risk he'll say no (?) but no one is asking you out possibly for the very same reason. Obviously an impasse .
So how do other people manage it? Well for example the women meet the men half way. They show the men they're interested - they smile, they hang on their every word. Perhaps she'll offer to help him with his etchings, inveigle herself into the man's life so that it seems the most natural thing on the world for the man to ask them out. Or, the woman suggests they look for a bar together, or ask for help carrying her luggage up stairs, wait until they feel that the man they fancy is interested then get a friend to sound him out. ' Hey you, do you fancy X, she told me she really fancies you....in other words make it obvious that if he 'makes the first move' she''s not going to turn him down. Thus, he takes no risks. Honour is satisfied she hasn't actually asked him out but she has engineered the situation where they can be together. If it's done well the man will have no idea that he has been targetted at all but just think he';s good at pulling a girl.
So how do other people manage it? Well for example the women meet the men half way. They show the men they're interested - they smile, they hang on their every word. Perhaps she'll offer to help him with his etchings, inveigle herself into the man's life so that it seems the most natural thing on the world for the man to ask them out. Or, the woman suggests they look for a bar together, or ask for help carrying her luggage up stairs, wait until they feel that the man they fancy is interested then get a friend to sound him out. ' Hey you, do you fancy X, she told me she really fancies you....in other words make it obvious that if he 'makes the first move' she''s not going to turn him down. Thus, he takes no risks. Honour is satisfied she hasn't actually asked him out but she has engineered the situation where they can be together. If it's done well the man will have no idea that he has been targetted at all but just think he';s good at pulling a girl.
pics not loading.
but from the sound of things you look ok.
are you sure you are not getting approached AT ALL?
In the past i visited a forum where several women claimed not to be approached, i felt really sorry for them [this was years ago when i was a little naive] ...then i saw their pics and became very suspicious so i started giving them the spanish inquisition ...and it turns out they WERE being approach but it was by men they deemed unworthy/aka not attractive enough ....therefore they were classing it as they were not being approached.
It is very rare for a female to go out clubbing and continuously never get approached, I don't know if it's really true or a just a fable some women like tell. On the rare occasion in clubs i have seen women who to me look attractive get no attention whilst every other girl around is getting approached [and it's like 2am and still no one is approaching them] but this is very rare, and i have no way of knowing if this is a regular occurrence for them.
If you're not getting approached in real life and you've done all you can then you need to try online dating. There you will be approached, trust me on that. Most likely within 5 minutes of creating an account. havent seen your pic, but if you are pretty you will likely be approached in under a minute of making an account on pof. How do I know this? I have made fake female accounts before for research purposes. Call me sad, but it is very eye opening and you learn a lot as a guy. It will most likely make you want to close your account if you are a guy and not getting any success online to witness the sheer never ending conveyor belt of messages women get. Even unattractive women.
but from the sound of things you look ok.
are you sure you are not getting approached AT ALL?
In the past i visited a forum where several women claimed not to be approached, i felt really sorry for them [this was years ago when i was a little naive] ...then i saw their pics and became very suspicious so i started giving them the spanish inquisition ...and it turns out they WERE being approach but it was by men they deemed unworthy/aka not attractive enough ....therefore they were classing it as they were not being approached.
It is very rare for a female to go out clubbing and continuously never get approached, I don't know if it's really true or a just a fable some women like tell. On the rare occasion in clubs i have seen women who to me look attractive get no attention whilst every other girl around is getting approached [and it's like 2am and still no one is approaching them] but this is very rare, and i have no way of knowing if this is a regular occurrence for them.
If you're not getting approached in real life and you've done all you can then you need to try online dating. There you will be approached, trust me on that. Most likely within 5 minutes of creating an account. havent seen your pic, but if you are pretty you will likely be approached in under a minute of making an account on pof. How do I know this? I have made fake female accounts before for research purposes. Call me sad, but it is very eye opening and you learn a lot as a guy. It will most likely make you want to close your account if you are a guy and not getting any success online to witness the sheer never ending conveyor belt of messages women get. Even unattractive women.
Funny how not one single person has addressed the elephant in the room. Please correct me if i'm wrong.
She's asked for advice and i'm going to give it. She can ignore this message if she so pleases.
Too many nicey nicey comments that are unhelpful to her because they are misleading her and detracting from the truth.
The truth being that if OP lost a few pounds she would be in serious serious demand from guys.
Yeh I said it. If she wants honest opinions that will actually guide her in the right direction that's what I think. My intentions are good.
To clarify, i'm not saying OP is really overweight, far from it. She's an attractive girl, but the single most helpful thing she could do to help herself in her quest to find a high quality man is lose a few pounds (not loads, just a few)
Now you may not wish to lose weight, are happy with your physique as it stands and do not wish to change yourself in order to meet a man. If that is the case then cool. Respect. But don't expect yourself to have lots of options with high value, attractive males.
As men, we are very visual, superficial creatures when assessing potential mates. I'm sorry if this basic truth makes people angry but it's part of our basic emotional circuitry. Not our choice.
For the most part, your looks is what gets our attention, personality and character keeps us around.
Wish you all the best OP. You seem like a genuinely nice girl who deserves a decent guy.
She's asked for advice and i'm going to give it. She can ignore this message if she so pleases.
Too many nicey nicey comments that are unhelpful to her because they are misleading her and detracting from the truth.
The truth being that if OP lost a few pounds she would be in serious serious demand from guys.
Yeh I said it. If she wants honest opinions that will actually guide her in the right direction that's what I think. My intentions are good.
To clarify, i'm not saying OP is really overweight, far from it. She's an attractive girl, but the single most helpful thing she could do to help herself in her quest to find a high quality man is lose a few pounds (not loads, just a few)
Now you may not wish to lose weight, are happy with your physique as it stands and do not wish to change yourself in order to meet a man. If that is the case then cool. Respect. But don't expect yourself to have lots of options with high value, attractive males.
As men, we are very visual, superficial creatures when assessing potential mates. I'm sorry if this basic truth makes people angry but it's part of our basic emotional circuitry. Not our choice.
For the most part, your looks is what gets our attention, personality and character keeps us around.
Wish you all the best OP. You seem like a genuinely nice girl who deserves a decent guy.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
As others have said, you look fine and nothing wrong with you that would turn off the average red blooded male.
But if its matter of friends being approached whilst you're not, only factor I can see is that it may be your weight. Would try to lose some weight.
Original post by ANM775
pics not loading.
but from the sound of things you look ok.
are you sure you are not getting approached AT ALL?
In the past i visited a forum where several women claimed not to be approached, i felt really sorry for them [this was years ago when i was a little naive] ...then i saw their pics and became very suspicious so i started giving them the spanish inquisition ...and it turns out they WERE being approach but it was by men they deemed unworthy/aka not attractive enough ....therefore they were classing it as they were not being approached.
but from the sound of things you look ok.
are you sure you are not getting approached AT ALL?
In the past i visited a forum where several women claimed not to be approached, i felt really sorry for them [this was years ago when i was a little naive] ...then i saw their pics and became very suspicious so i started giving them the spanish inquisition ...and it turns out they WERE being approach but it was by men they deemed unworthy/aka not attractive enough ....therefore they were classing it as they were not being approached.
LOL THIS 100%
I swear women dont exist in reality. They just create their own reality in their heads LMAO
pics are loading now
Honest opinion from me is that you are nothing special looks wise, having said that I have seen plenty of girls who are blessed with lower aesthetics than yourself who get approached on a night out ......so i'm not sure what the problem is.
Maybe the group of girls you go with is too big? guys are put off by big groups sometimes.
maybe the girls who you are with are too pretty? If there is a large difference in attractiveness between yourself and your mates then you may be setting yourself up to fail/get minimal attention.
maybe you just come across too shy or unapproachable in person [judging by your pics though you look approachable]
the first thing i look for when approaching a woman in a club/bar is approachableness.
If she is hot but looks like a right ***** ...then often I am unable to approach her.
If a girl looks shy/withdrawn then personally i won't approach her either.
not really sure what the problem is why you're not getting approached. I still have suspicions that you are ...but just not registering it as you don't like the guys
Honest opinion from me is that you are nothing special looks wise, having said that I have seen plenty of girls who are blessed with lower aesthetics than yourself who get approached on a night out ......so i'm not sure what the problem is.
Maybe the group of girls you go with is too big? guys are put off by big groups sometimes.
maybe the girls who you are with are too pretty? If there is a large difference in attractiveness between yourself and your mates then you may be setting yourself up to fail/get minimal attention.
maybe you just come across too shy or unapproachable in person [judging by your pics though you look approachable]
the first thing i look for when approaching a woman in a club/bar is approachableness.
If she is hot but looks like a right ***** ...then often I am unable to approach her.
If a girl looks shy/withdrawn then personally i won't approach her either.
not really sure what the problem is why you're not getting approached. I still have suspicions that you are ...but just not registering it as you don't like the guys
Original post by Anonymous
I just feel like obviously keenness needs to work both ways, but if I was to get a boyfriend I would love to tell my friends he asked me out etc rather than me if you know what I mean it's sweet
No wonder your single with that attitude and you will be for a very long time unless you approach a man first.
Who cares about telling friends a man asked you out first ?
Next time you go to a club be brave and try asking a man out because maybe their too shy to ask you out or maybe it's the way you dress.
Don't wear that dress again that you showed on your night out, try to find something a bit more classy. Wear white or any other colour than that because that colour drains you.
Years ago a friend of mine asked a man out and 1 year later they got married so it does actually work
Try going up to a bloke you like the look of on the street and asking for directions or a particular shop then ask them out. See how that works out for you.
This way of meeting people works too but all the men on TSR who are single are too scared to try it but love complaining that they can't get a bird and they will continue to stay single because they are not brave enough to try something
different like that.
I don't have to do anything men just approach me on the street to ask me out and only 2 weeks ago a man approached me on the street asking for directions then he asked me out. I went on a date with him and found out he used to be a model.
You shouldn't just leave it up to men to ask you out or you might be waiting forever and it is ok for women to ask men out too. You should try not to think of it as being desperate because it really isn't. Some people have just got more balls to do it than other's.
I don't think i'm that great looking but the men who ask me out think I am
You don't have to meet men in a club, you can meet them on the street, supermarket or anywhere.
Maybe Tinder is not so great for you, try Millionaire Dates.co.uk just for a laugh to see what happens. I signed up with them free last year but i could not be bothered to pay the monthly fee of £30 when someone sends a message. There was a really good looking bloke on it who i liked the look of who sent me a message. I would have met him if i had paid the fee but i kept putting off paying and by the time i decided i was going to pay just to meet him because i was not interested in anyone else on there his picture was not on the website anymore. I took too long to make my decision.
what would you rate yourself out of ten
So many peeps in your boat I really wouldn't sweat. If the people you're around aren't interested in you cos of your looks (which I honestly can't believe, you're gorge!) eff em and look elsewhere. Rock the single life, continue to be outgoing and confident and you'll find someone without a doubt. There's someone for everyone 👍
What's the point anyway? We all die alone.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by CheeseIsVeg
Spoiler
don't eat too much cheese
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Landlord trying to charge for stains that are not mine
- Will a relationship with me last ?
- IBS/painful bladder syndrome/ adenyomosis / endometriosis ???
- AQA A-Level History Paper 2 Option 2H
- its so over
- What should I do
- He's in love with me but ignoring me?
- PLymouth City College
- do you think this is normal
- predicted grade concern
- am i being groomed ?
- Reconnecting with ex
- Rejected for LSE masters programme
- Msc Clinical Psychology in University of Exeter, Russell Group really matters?
- I'm officially in!
- Completely messed up my year 12 mocks
- Surviving Year 12?
- Relationship
- What is wrong with ucas??!!
- Pressuring parents. HELP!
Latest
Trending
Last reply 3 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 3 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 3 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 3 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
