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How do i go about dealing with her like this?

(edited 1 year ago)

Me and my GF have been in an official relationship now for 5 months, we spoke prior roughly for 5 months as well.

I'm 19, she's 17.

Basically I haven't had the best experience, i moved house roughly 3 years ago to a completely different country and haven't had much luck with friends so at the moment, i seriously have no friends, like at all. However i do have a GF who lives directly opposite my house, so a 10 second walk.

The relationship is going great (Some parts anyway), but recently over the past 2 months, it feels like i'm the only one actually trying with things, i'm the one planning everything, deciding what to do, making sure we have food/drink all the time, making sure we got money to do things, and just in general it feels like i'm the only one actually trying, like she barely goes for kisses and hugs anymore as much as she did and a lot of the time she is barely making proper conversation about stuff, and if i mention about my problems at all, she doesn't really help with them, she always says "she doesn't know what to say"

If i ever bring up that i don't like her talking to her ex, she always says that she doesn't agree as they're only friends and that she doesn't like to have "bad friendships" with people but she doesn't really care how i feel about it.

I don't know if i should just tell her out straight that i want her to stop otherwise i'm going, or i don't know how to play it out.

It is really getting to me a lot now, like i want this relationship, it's just i am so confused as this is my first "proper" relationship

Firstly, aware that you might be worried confronting her on it could potentially lead to your breakup and you having no friends whatsoever. Only solution there is you get some friends, or you start seeing someone else and then when it looks like you about to be exclusive with new girl, then you confront your current gf - either things work out well with current gf and you forget about new girl, or they dont and you make new girl your gf instead.

Anyway regarding confronting your current gf, dont say it in a needy way, just be firm and say smth along lines of:

"yo, it feels like recently you've become less engaged in relationship, like I'm only one making an effort now. Is something up with you?

if you got a problem, let me know and I can try help you to work it out. But otherwise, if there's no problem - what's the deal yo?"

Then it can go only one of three ways:

1) She says it problem with her - so then you try help her to solve problem/ or support her

2) She says its problem with you - so then you change if you want to, or you dump her if you dont want to change as she would like

3) She says there's no problem - then you tell her she needs to stop being lazy in the relationship and put more effort in. DONT ASK HER, TELL HER THIS. If she cant get her act together, then you walk way and find someone who knows how to maintain a relationship. Simples