The fibs your teacher told you in school [golden thread]

"You got an A in your French writing assessment". Needless to say I was a bit shocked on results day when my French grade breakdown went A*A*AD (a D in writing, turns out my very first pieces of coursework I wrote right at the beginning of year 10 were sent)

Well someone hates PE says the boy who doesn't have to do PE anymore.

that frigging 90% was an A* in physics, like no, it's 75%, chill.


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Our chemistry teacher promised she'd make us curry if the whole class passed the GCSE. Pretty sure everyone passed, but we never got the curry

Electrons are positioned in an orbit around the atom, like planets in the solar system, but with a maximum per "shell".

But actually, there's shells and subshells and they take all different shapes, and that's why you get the maxima that you do!

And then you find out that there are no shells and subshells, and it's actually a big cloud of probability for where an electron is likely to appear in the atom...

Oh man I have loads!

- that our primary school teacher invented the song "hey diddle diddle, median in the middle etc..."
- if you were being picked on, telling a teacher would solve the problem (they literally just went "yeah I doubt Beth would do that")
- year 6 SATs were important for high school
- the ICT GCSE was nationally compulsary
- your GCSE choices are just as important as your A Level choices for which unis and courses you can apply for (all mine say just B in English and Maths is enough for GCSE)
- having your hair dyed a slightly off-natural colour is "too distracting for class" (my college embraces unnatural hair colours with a "rainbow hair" day at the start of the year)
- "don't worry about those people who don't revise, they won't get the good grades" (we all know some people like this who annoy the rest of us)
- GCSE French will give you a very good understanding of basic communication skills for speaking to locals (hahahahahahaha... yeah no)
- "you should know what uni course you want to do by now, so you know what A Level subjects you need, so you know what GCSE subjects to choose to get you there" (in year 8...)
- "you have to tie your hair back in practicals, a few years ago there was a girl whose hair got dipped in acid then she caught it in a bunsen burner and her head caught fire" (really now? really?)

That bullying is dealt with