My eating disorders ruining my family.

Hello, I have had an eating disorder since I was 12 years old. I went into hospital in 2012 and spent 6 months in a clinic. I then spent nearly a year out where my mum and dad where really supportive and wanted to help me in any way. After the second admiration everything has changed my mum started to get aggressive towards me and me and my mum are now fighting everyday. Some days she loves me and the others it's as if I'm the child she never wanted. My brothers have started to make fun of me having an eating disorder and because I vomit after eating they tell all there friends and announce it in public which absolutely break my heart. Me and my dad where inseparable but now I can't spend two minutes without us screaming at each other. I am at the last straw with my family and I think the longer this goes in the more I think I will never want to see them when I have my own family. I want to get better but with everything like this I fear I never will 😢😢

Reply 1

L-J3

Original post by Grace_Duggan98

I have struggled with an eating disorder since I was 2/3 years old when my little sister was born. I am 19 years old now and am still struggling with it. I was almost admitted to hospital when I was about 9 years old but my family were and still are strong believers that I would start eating 'normally' when I wanted to, and I kinda of have. I used to have this mental thing that if I was eating food that I didn't like or wasn't used to, I thought my throat was closing up and I would regurgitate the said food.
It got to a point where my dad would shout at me every meal we ate together and I got used to having to stay at the table for ages after everyone else had finished their food, I got used to going to sleep with hunger pains and seeing myself getting skinnier and skinnier. I know how you feel about not being able to spend 2 minutes without arguing with your parents about your disorder, I honestly believe that my eating disorder was one of many straws that broke up my parents marriage when I was 11, even though they both deny it having an effect on it. My sister used to think I was only wasn't eating properly because I wanted attention, and since she used to eat food off my plate when we were younger, she even blamed her size because of me, in one of our worse arguments.
But let me tell you this, IT GETS BETTER. There will be one day in the future where you will feel like having a hot dog, or some soup. If it can happen to me, it defiantly happen to you. Just stay strong, we all have our cross to bare, ours just happens to be eating disorders.

Reply 2

Roperjacob

Original post by Grace_Duggan98

Their going to have to accept you but try handling the situation by not fighting cause you cant fight fire with fire

Reply 3

L-J3

^^^^^^
what he said :biggrin:

Reply 4

Pinkberry_y

Original post by Grace_Duggan98

*hugs*
Your family do love you and care about you, but I think everything is being covered and you're all at odds with each other because of the eating disorder. I think sitting your parents and brother down and having a frank discussion is something you should do. To prevent it getting into another argument and shouting match, tell them you want to finish what you have to say to them then they can say what they feel and how your eating disorder is making them feel. If talking to them all at once is intimidating, maybe do it on a one to one basis with them.
Looking at it very briefly from their perspective, it is hard, really hard watching someone you love dying before your eyes. That's a very dramatic statement I know but bear with me. In your parents eyes and your brothers, you not eating or vomitting automatically equates to you being in very poor health, organ failure and eventually dying. Believe me they'll have googled eating disorders and are thinking of all the worse case scenarios. To put simply they're afraid of losing their daughter and sister. The way they're dealing with this fear, it looks like is antagonising you further. Maybe they believe giving you tough love will get you to eat. Now obviously this is not the answer and you need to make them aware of this. Recovery from an eating disorder is a long road and having your families support is invaluable. Having a second admission is not uncommon and doesn't make you a failure or mean you're not trying, these things happen. But I think the best thing now is to get everything out in the open. For you to be aware of how they feel by them telling you out in the open and for you to tell them how you feel and let them know you're trying your hardest. Try and pin point the root of your triggers and discuss this with them also. At the end of the day your family love you very much, but when things remain unsaid, resentment builds up, and what happens is your family start projecting their frustrations in the ways you've mentioned above. It will be okay, it will get better with time, be strong and talk it out with them, deep down they do want to support you as much as they can with your recovery :smile:

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 5

Double Agent

I've had an eating disorder, and it screwed up my entire life for the best part of 3 years. There is no way around it, you have to start eating normally to recover. It's not about your family and their inability to watch you suffer your illness, its about you. They won't ever fully understand, so don't expect them to. Get better because you deserve to recover. Stay strong, work hard, it does get easier.