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Struggling to get over crush

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Why bother with a post grad? Are they even worth it? Have your say! 26-10-2016
    • Thread Starter

    He is/was my friend, I developed a crush. He got really busy with stuff so he wasn't around and I got frustrated-mostly due to how I felt, because I couldn't say how I felt and I never did. I ended up saying that I felt hurt because of him not being there but I was stunned when he told me that the things I was saying were hurtful to him, I wouldnt have said any of those things unless he could take it- so I was confused and we aren't talking right now. *

    *I know it's my fault and mostly driven by my crush and I don't know how I can make it right. I know I probably need to get over the crush first, I have been trying; I have had distance, been out with friends, hobbies etc but he's still ever present on my mind because I want us to ok again.

    I think I might have lost him completely, I never expected the crush to be destructive even without me saying anything.

    What would you like to happen?

    I think your options are:

    1) Just move on completely - don't make contact and try not to think about him. Disadvantages are that you loose a friend and perhaps you'll always be wondering how thing might have turned out. On the other hand at least it clears things up in your mind and it will get better in time. You may well end up having to do this anyway.

    2) Offer an olive branch and see if you can get him back as a friend. The disadvantage is that if you want to be more than friends but don't do anything about it you'll be stuck in a cycle of looking for signs that he likes you and being disappointed when you perceive he is rejecting you. The advantage is that you'll probably have him as a friend again, at least for now.

    3) Go all out and try to start a relationship with him. The downside is that it may well go wrong and you'll end up having to do 1) anyway. The advantages are that it *might* work out and even if it doesn't you'll know you gave it your best shot.

    I think a lot depends on your circumstances which you've not said anything about. Good luck with whatever you end up doing!
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