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'Best Friend' with benefits or Boyfriend? Advice needed...

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    • Thread Starter

    There's this guy I've been super close with for a couple years almost now, and he's pretty much my best friend, although it's always been a bit flirty, like we've always had what people like to call 'a thing'...

    Anyway, about a year ago we ended up having sex, and it wasn't even awkward afterwards, like it happened and we just got on with life haha having our little 'thing'.

    A few months after that he got with a friend of mine, and they had a pathetic on and off relationship for like a month at the most. We were still best friends at this point.

    Anyway they broke up, and then a few months on we ended up making out or having sex, again and again, and yeah all the time hahah, and If people asked about us we'd say we had a friends with benefits thing going on, but it was obvious to everyone that there had to be something a little more there.
    He kept getting on and off with this girl again, and then after they finally called it off he 'poured his heart out' to me saying how it was obvious we both really liked each other, and how he loved me and wanted to try it properly between us one day and all this other s***. But he was on drugs at the time... But he swore the next day he meant everything he had said, he knew what he was saying at the time and meant every word.

    Anyway so we ended up carrying on as usual for a couple weeks, and then we spoke about things again a couple weeks ago, and he said like it's summer right now and he doesn't want to get into anything too serious but when we both go to college this September things will be different and we can try it then perhaps.

    I don't know what to do, because I do really really like him, he's the one person I trust with everything and I don't know whether to wait around and risk looking desperate or just tell him how i feel and idk, because sometimes when we meet i feel like he's only meeting me for sex, but I just have no clue anymore... because I want to be with him. help! what do I do or say!!!
    • Thread Starter

    Sorry it's a long read, I just don't know how to explain it without details

    The only way you'll be able to determine if he's meeting you for sex is if you stop having sex with him, say you want to do things properly and start a fresh with him taking things as you would a new relationship and see how that goes? If he's willing to go along with it he obviously feels the same and there more than just a sexual and friendship element to your relationship. C x

    Think you should just address the relationship situation in a few weeks time but avoid meeting him regularly just for sex lol i dunno go out, get lunch, do whatever you were doing before and keep sex at an arms length until you're in a relationship in my opinion.

    You sound like you would make a good couple and sex always always always complicates things if it happens before you're official with someone so yeah just chill, enjoy your time with him, see where it goes and in no time it will be the end of August and if you think its right just bring it up and tell him what youre thinking.

    I dunno but from what I've read:
    - you want a relationship with him
    - you actually like him and want to keep him due to the slight apparent jealousy of him being with the other girl for a bit
    - its best to have your relationship with him clear

    Follow the above stop the sex, and see if he will stay say the same.
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