I am too extreme

k so today i had quite a big fight with my brother. and i said something that angered him and then he said "shut the **** up" and i snappeed because he was beiing disrespectful. we were having a discussion about something and i felt like my opinion wasnt heard. problem is i always get tears in my eyes when i snap/am angry/feel my point hasnt been made even though im not sad HOW hte hell do i stop this its very annoying
second of all at one point my dad "sided" with my brother and post discussion i immediately started getting furious at him, because earlier he agreed with me on the same subject, my brother was attacking me/insulting me and he didnt defend me, so i felt kinda betrayed and also was thinking that he was just weak and picking the stornger side. then i asked him why he said this he said he just wanted to explain smth and i realize i probably exaggerated, and ia m just scared because something minor happens and immediately i see my dad as some enemy/betrayer ? like it was super minor what is wrong with me
also the tears thing how do i stop that
why do i have to put people in boxes itry to label people as untrustworthy/narcissistic/manipulative eagerly, why
omg i sound so sick lol
bye