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I know I did an awful thing by snooping...but now how do I deal with what I found?

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    Boyfriend left his facebook open on my computer.

    I read some of his facebook messages, (I already feel bad, I know, I invaded his privacy etc ) So one message was with this girl and he was talking to her about me saying that he didn't think our relationship was 'too longterm'. But this is the opposite of what he's expressed to me 'I'm not saying we're definitely going to get married but i see potential for us to get there'. I now feel really confused and mixed up.

    The message he sent that girl saying that was a while ago ( something was making me feel uncomfortable about this particular conversation so i scrolled), could his feelings have just got stronger for me? I don't want to waste my time in a relationship that doesn't have potential and I made that clear to him from when we were dating, I guess I'm worried he's just telling me what I want to hear or I don't know I just feel uncomfortable with the implications of the message: that it was kind of like saying: I'm not single... for now but I probably will be so lets keep chatting like this... :/

    Okay, that's definitely dodgy but doesn't need to be a warning sign. Please don't tell him you were snooping because he wouldn't take kindly to it I'm sure, and that would show him that you don't trust him. I think it depends how long ago "a while" is - bear in mind that boys change their minds every 20 seconds I'm pretty sure.

    How long have you been together? If it's a few years then the mention of marriage makes sense, but if you're on about a couple of months, this guy is definitely not the one.

    I don't recommend it, but you could confront him and basically tell him to stop talking to this girl, or talk to her less. If he gets defensive and things, ask him why he likes chatting to her. If they're long term friends then that's fair and understandable, but if she's kinda flirty and nice to him then he's probably using her to boost his ego. If that's the case, maybe examine why he feels the need to have his ego boosted? Does he feel like you're not complimentary enough and so gets the attention of other girls? Is he insecure? Is he just a knob? If he needs validation from another girl whilst you're still his partner, there's gotta be something up.

    Be open and talk to him, ask him how he knows that it's "long term" or whatever he said to you. If he's being sincere when he says he wants to stay with you he'll give you loads of honest answers. If he says stuff like "because I just do" or "why do you want to know", he's deflecting and probably not being honest.
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Updated: August 10, 2016
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