The Student Room Group

Moving from mutual interest to a relationship

Hello all,
Putting this up here because I've had this problem a fair few times over the last two years. My last girlfriend i have had was over 3 years ago and since then i seem to have lost touch. I'm not a bad looking guy, 6 foot 2, play sports for my uni team so quite strong and i would like to say I'm quite decent at holding conversations. Sure I can (and have) attracted the occasional girl whilst at university and have even taken a few back (dont judge me pls) after nights out. The problem is despite after the initial getting to know one another which is all welll and good i never end up taking things to the next level. I have asked girls on dates but they've all seem to have gone just average and after awhile they seem to just go abit colder with me. Maybe I'm being paranoid and it's just natural to be this way whilst at university but i get a feeling maybe im doing something wrong. My lack of progress with females has been annoying, wish i could go back to being 16 when it was much easier. any replies would be appreciated. P.S I dont think i was ever friendzoned with anyone I'm always quite clear from the start my intentions with people. Thanks again
Is it possible that your desire to find a girlfriend makes you seem to come on too strong? Dating is weird. Guys get a reputation for being jerks and then nice guys who actually want a girlfriend are accused of trying too hard and putting girls off. I know of a guy who was like that. Nice guy but so wanted to be in a relationship that he chased girls away by coming on too strong and acting like he wanted to be 'serious' from about the third date. I know two girls he dated and frankly scared both of them away by acting too committed too quickly. Does that make sense? Maybe that is not your situation but perhaps you need to think about your approach objectively. Girls want to be wooed but they don't want to be smoothered. Date but don't be too available too quickly and don't be soooo complimentary that it seems insincere or used for self-serving purposes for sex. Most girls will figure that out. So, be nice, a gentleman and be fun but go slow and know that you might not click with every girl but you will definitely click with some...just don't force it. Good Luck!
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Original post by Hopefully1
Is it possible that your desire to find a girlfriend makes you seem to come on too strong? Dating is weird. Guys get a reputation for being jerks and then nice guys who actually want a girlfriend are accused of trying too hard and putting girls off. I know of a guy who was like that. Nice guy but so wanted to be in a relationship that he chased girls away by coming on too strong and acting like he wanted to be 'serious' from about the third date. I know two girls he dated and frankly scared both of them away by acting too committed too quickly. Does that make sense? Maybe that is not your situation but perhaps you need to think about your approach objectively. Girls want to be wooed but they don't want to be smoothered. Date but don't be too available too quickly and don't be soooo complimentary that it seems insincere or used for self-serving purposes for sex. Most girls will figure that out. So, be nice, a gentleman and be fun but go slow and know that you might not click with every girl but you will definitely click with some...just don't force it. Good Luck!


Thanks, yeah you make some good points, maybe as soon as interest has been established I should just sit back more and wait for them to be running conversations more, maybe this will just sort itself out with more experience hopefully

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