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I'm scared I have a stalker

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Why bother with a post grad course - waste of time? 17-10-2016
    • Thread Starter

    Okay so there was this guy in my first year of sixth form he went to secondary school with me too but we literally never ever spoke. Maybe just a smile if I saw him in the corridor to be polite but that's it.

    But then in after he left yr 12, and I was still in sixth form he'd get this boy to tell me that he says hi and he's thinking about me. At the time I didn't think anything of it and just found it weird coz I have barely spoken to him before. Still I didn't think it was a big deal but then towards end of sixth form a year later my sister starts getting messages from someone and he's asking for my number saying he's tried to contact me on fb but I haven't replied and that we are good friends. I didn't know who this was so I checked my fb as I never used to go on and then I see he's been sending me messages for the past year saying he really likes me and how we we are such good friends. I blocked him but then he starts messaging my friends in Facebook asking for my number and they block him too.

    Fast forward to a few months ago I get a friend request from him he made another profile and a sting of messages saying how he loves me and can't stop thinking about me he even sent an edited picture of me from year 8 I have no idea where he got it from.

    I just feel so sick and scared this guy is clearly crazy and won't leave me alone this all started when I was 17 and I'm now 20 and I really don't know what to do.

    I don't know if I'm over reacting and I feel like just messaging him and telling him to **** off but I'm scared. What do you guys think I should do and am I over reacting.

    I think guys can get infatuated and do some stupid things without it being sinister. I would send him a very clear and polite message that you don't feel the same and that he needs to stop contacting you and you don't like it. If he doesn't respect this you could get a friend to speak to him to reinforce the point. If it continues or if you feel threatened you could speak to the police for advice

    Yes, time for a 'I am not interested, never have been and never will be: stop it' message followed by escalating it if it continues.

    I think you should send him a "dear John" message telling him clearly but nicely that you are not interested.
    If he persists then he is stalking you as far as the police are concerned and you should then decide whether or not you wish to warn him that you will act or just take action.
    To act: read your police force's guidance on stalking and check to see if your situation fits the criteria. It sounds like you are being caused alarm and distress by unwanted attention, so you probably fit the criteria.
    You make your complaint (take a friend) and the police then visit him and give a very clear warning.
    Your police force WILL take this seriously and he will be left in no doubt what his actions are doing to you.
    You MUST keep a record of all evidence to strengthen your case. Get your friends to retain any evidence they have: emails, texts, fb requests.
    Start writing a diary. Do it today. How does the attention make you feel? Are you creeped out? Afraid? Has it affected your mobility (scared to go out?)
    You should note that you have good and sensible friends for not falling for his tricks. Good on them.
    Good luck.
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Updated: August 18, 2016
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