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Why bother with a post grad course - waste of time? 17-10-2016
    • Thread Starter

    I came out of a relationship which was mentally abusing in december of last year. My ex had cheated on me after 4 years of being together. The sex in the relationship is non existent and we never communicated. I lived with him and his dad miles away from my parents and my family so i felt isolated.

    Im now with a new partner and for the most part its great. However my mental state seems to be getting in the way a lot. Im currently taking anti depressants prescribed by my gp because i was self harming (hitting myself in the head).

    The problem i have is when we first started dating, we couldnt keep our hands off each other. Then things about his past started coming out like him having sex with a lesbian we both work with and him asking out several other people we work with and also other past partners. I know that his past is in the past but i cant help but feel im not what hes looking for or that he doesnt want anybody else. Recently hes started pushing me away when i try to have sex with him and i feel rejected like he no longer finds me attractive. Maybe this is all in my head?

    Help please?!?!

    At a certain age everyone you meet will have a sexual past, it's just part of being human and something you will need to come to terms with. It has no bearing on what he thinks or feels about you. Its like saying you didnt enjoy the orange you had today because last week you had a banana, it just doesnt relate. I'm sure he doesn't want to think about yours either. Your main focus needs to be on your mental wellbeing. Take some deep breaths, be kind to yourself, slow your thought patterns down and be calm. Go back to basics on the sex and relationship side with your boyfriend, and introduce the relaxed fun and messing about together that you have at the beginning of a relationship, with no pressure on sex or feelings. Depression is very hard to deal with as the partner of a depressed person, its wearing and if you havent had depression it's near impossible to understand and empathise with.
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