*:･ﾟ✧ Should girls ask guys out?! *:･ﾟ✧

OP

Original post by sleepysnooze

*me attempting to embed picture and failing*

if it's oppressive to expect women to wash the dishes and stay at home, as some believe, why isn't it oppressive to expect men to pay on dates and do all the initiating for the woman? doesn't this seem hypocritical? "I want the guy to ask me instead because I'm too scared" - what about "I want the woman to stay at home and do all the chores because I'm too lazy"?

I totally agree with your argument. Cleaning being associated with women is being challenged, and so should interaction between the sexes one when displays a certain level of interest.

Reply 44

OP

Original post by WBZ144

I asked a guy out once, we knew each other quite well by then though. If he was still a stranger or a distant acquaintance then I might have been too nervous.

Some girls are worried about looking "desperate". Society does teach that desperate women are unattractive, after all.

Well done on doing that! Don't you think perhaps it would've been easier and perhaps less awkward if it was a stranger, because you'd never have to see them again if they said no?

Reply 45

OP

Original post by Brahmin of Booty

Lots of men want women to ask them out, but most of them are nerdy virginal men and most women don't have the aggressive personality for it.

Contrast the amount of guys who work in sales compared with HR.

So you believe the men who want women to ask them out are shy and reserved, and those who approach women to ask them out are manly?

Interesting view there. :curious:

Reply 46

OP

Original post by AndrewSCO

I would rather the girl asked me out so then I wouldn't need to :laugh:

2 girls have asked me out before, and I've asked out 5 girls

How well did you know the girls? Were you strangers - acquaintances - friends?

Absolutely, but I don't think it should come down to one person to initiate it all.

I think my ex and I hit a perfect balance when it comes to this, at least I think so. She messaged me saying that she liked me and that she became quite close to me after we knew each other for half a year and skyped a lot during the summer; then the following day I asked her out. The way I see, this involves equal risk from both parties. The first initiates but doesn't invoke a "rejection" phase where it's all or nothing, it's much easier to tell a person that you like them rather than go all out on a "wanna go out?" type of comment (this would be more of a leading question that would get a biased result, in a way). While the second party either builds much more confidence to ask them out or can easily reject them without hurting their feelings too much. The only issue I can see with this is that messages may be misinterpreted when a relationship is not intended.

This also helps determine if the other party genuinely wants a relationship with you because you hear it from them about it as opposed to blatantly asking them out and if they say yes it doesn't necessarily mean they would really want it. I would be much more relaxed about it if I'd be shown interest from the other person, knowing that they are prepared to put the effort into it as opposed to initiating everything myself.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 48

Brahmin of Booty

Original post by thecatwithnohat

So you believe the men who want women to ask them out are shy and reserved, and those who approach women to ask them out are manly?

Interesting view there. :curious:

I don't think there is anything wrong with women who ask men, but it seems almost self referential to point out that men who lack confidence, are less manly than those who are confident enough to ask the girl.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 49

Brahmin of Booty

Original post by jblackmoustache

What's your point? Been watching too much Mad Men? Not everyone is a salesman. Being a salesman imo requires an extrovert personality / a certain person. Not everyone is a salesman in the same way not everyone can be a successful musician.

Also what's the beef with HR? Actually HR also is a job which requires very good communication skills too. It just so happens it's seen traditionally as a female job. Your way of thinking is why we have a problem with employment in schools and young boys have a lack of male role models

The whole "not man enough" argument and too nerdy BS is simplified ******** imo.

If a guy is nerdy then they should own and embrace that ****. Don't pretend to be someone else. Be an unashamed nerd.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Never seen mad men and I don't know what it is.

HR appeals to women more than men because it's basically being paid to gossip, sales appeals to men because it requires aggression, pushiness and a completely unshakable ego.

Reply 50

AndrewSCO

Original post by thecatwithnohat

How well did you know the girls? Were you strangers - acquaintances - friends?

Don't know if you mean just the girls who asked or all but I'll do them all anyway. :smile:

2 girls who asked, one was quite a while ago, I spoke to her friend and she was sometimes just there so spoke to her a little too but not really much in it, second girl I was good friends with, we spoke all the time.

Girls I asked, 2 were quite a long time ago, at same school, same group of friends, just started speaking to them regularly and went to athletics with one. One later on was a girl in my next friendship group, had started texting a fair bit, but not all day kinda thing.I just realised there's 6 I've asked out, next was my best friend, spent all day everyday together basically at uni, next was a random girl I'd just started speaking to and next was my current gf who I met at a party and started chatting to :smile:

Reply 51

Ella-keturah

9

Sure. I asked a guy out recently but turned out he has a girlfriend, so we just went out as friends. Planning on asking a guy out who works at my gym soon. Obviously nobody likes rejection, but don't see why it should always fall on the guy to ask.

Reply 52

Lularose83

14

I don't think there's anything wrong with it, but I personally wouldn't ask a boy out as I'm just too nervous 😊

Reply 53

Gorillion

Original post by Brahmin of Booty

HR appeals to women more than men because it's basically being paid to gossip,.

That's women in all jobs.

Guys are going to like it because it takes the pressure off of them, and shares out the risk of rejection. Girls are going to benefit because it opens up a wider range of possible partners for them, as it allows them to pursue someone they are really interested in, rather than selecting whoever they feel would be the best fit from those who have asked her out.

Reply 55

Brahmin of Booty

Original post by Gorillion

That's women in all jobs.

Men are natural system builders whereas woman basically use social skills to become beneficiaries of what men put in place, it's why Asperger's Syndrome is more prevalent in men, whereas women are more susceptible to Borderline Personality Disorder.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 56

username471863

19

Original post by thecatwithnohat

Well done on doing that! Don't you think perhaps it would've been easier and perhaps less awkward if it was a stranger, because you'd never have to see them again if they said no?

I was comfortable around him and knew that he liked me, that might be why. If it was a friend who had shown no signs of interest before then probably a stranger would have been better, come to think of it :tongue:

Reply 57

phunky_fresh

14

I asked a guy out once. I was 100% certain he was going to say yes though 😂😂

Reply 58

Rum Ham