The Student Room Group

Saying one thing to your face and another behind your back

Hi,
I had a friend a few years ago that I was very close with and they supported me in everything that I did. I've been an anti-bullying campaigner and volunteer for the past 4 years and they have had my back the whole way through. Recently though (within the past 12 months) they have seemed to drift apart from me, and instead of supporting me, it feels as though they have something against me, as though they dislike my volunteer work. Recently though I have heard from people I barley know telling me how proud my friend is of me and how they can't stop singing my praises at every chance they get, but yet when I speak to them I would be lucky to get an "hello", never mind keep up the fantastic work, proud of you.

I know this may seem childish but I don't see why someone could change so quickly when nothing has happened. It makes me feel awful about my volunteer work as though I am doing something wrong. It's horrible to think we were so close and I feel as though my work has torn us apart, they were an amazing friend and i don't feel as though I can speak to them or even email them, because if I do, I feel as though I will have to apologise for doing so.

Sorry if this is confusing, but I hope some of you may be able to understand my situation in some small way and can advise me on perhaps why they would say one thing to my face and another behind my back.

Thank you!
People change and as you grow up you will find that you will grow out of some of the people you once called a friend.
[QUOTE=PinkOwls;67051326]Hi,
I had a friend a few years ago that I was very close with and they supported me in everything that I did. I've been an anti-bullying campaigner and volunteer for the past 4 years and they have had my back the whole way through. Recently though (within the past 12 months) they have seemed to drift apart from me, and instead of supporting me, it feels as though they have something against me, as though they dislike my volunteer work. Recently though I have heard from people I barley know telling me how proud my friend is of me and how they can't stop singing my praises at every chance they get, but yet when I speak to them I would be lucky to get an "hello", never mind keep up the fantastic work, proud of you.

I know this may seem childish but I don't see why someone could change so quickly when nothing has happened. It makes me feel awful about my volunteer work as though I am doing something wrong. It's horrible to think we were so close and I feel as though my work has torn us apart, they were an amazing friend and i don't feel as though I can speak to them or even email them, because if I do, I feel as though I will have to apologise for doing so.

Sorry if this is confusing, but I hope some of you may be able to understand my situation in some small way and can advise me on perhaps why they would say one thing to my face and another behind my back.

Thank you!
Your volunteering work sounds like an amazing thing dont let anything/anyone put u off it or make u feel bad for doing it!
Perhaps they ( your friend)are jealous of your achievements and that you help people so much.
Maybe just try and say to her or send her a text saying that " uve hardly spoken to me recently does she wanna meet up ???" Or " i havnt seem u in a while do u wanna meet ???" And if she says she cant or shes to busy then just say " i feel like were not as close as we uses to be ...." Or " where still cool right ???" Or " r u ok ? Its just u havnt been speaking to me much recently" or " is everything alright between us ? its just i feel like ...." It doesn't matter if u appolagise for sending the text at least she would know how u feel and it would come across pleasant and as if u r trying to build bridges anyway.
What would sound better:
- "hey how come uv been avoiding me recently???"
Or
- "hey,how come uv been avoiding me recently??? Sorry for the text but i just feel like we used to be great friends and now were not as close "
But you just said that it FEELS as though they dislike your work, at any point have they actually said that they have disliked your work?
because given what others are saying, it seems as if they are still very proud of you. so I don't see how they are saying something different behind your back.
As for why they are not talking to you as much, they are probably just very busy with other things atm. It happens in life, the older we become the more busier we get

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