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How do you stop checking up on someone from the past?

It'st 6 months since I stopped speaking to someone and I still check up on them every day on social media and I can't stop it. I've tried doing so, but it never lasts more than a day. I want to let go but I don't know how.

This person was my absolute favourite person. I would have talked to them forever if I could, but they were toxic and began to make me very unhappy and so I had to drop them. I cut them off and left their life and I did it like they meant nothing to me.

I don't know why I must know about their life still and what they are posting online. We haven't been in each others lives for ages now. I don't want to reconnect with them as they are a very different person now, so I don't even know why.

Yes, I know it's borderline obsessive and it is stalkerish of me to be doing this but I'm not here to be judged lmao save your generic judgements for another post because it bores me to death. Instead, it would be most helpful for others to come forward and admit that they do/have done this and what they did to get over it.

advice pls

All my studies into mental health and through discussions in therapy has led me to arrive at the conclusion that anyone who effectively "stalks" an individual is unhealthy and lacks emotional intelligence in some capacity. If you at first take the time to acknowledge that what you are doing is not okay, that it is an indicator of a larger issue, then you will immediately be taking steps to rectify the issue.

If this person has played an important part in your life then it is extremely difficult to let go of them. Whether it's a relationship or just a friendship, having someone suddenly disappear from your life leaves you experiencing symptoms akin to an addiction to drugs. As with the aforementioned, the best cure for this withdrawal is time and abstention. It's difficult, often times emotionally painful, but you have to go through it so that you can begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel...and eventually reach the end. I have no better advice than to simply tell you to stop watching this person's activity. If you struggle, tell a friend or family member or even perhaps consider counselling/therapy. As well as the psychological issues that surround this behavior, there are legal ramifications (yes, including monitoring them online).

I'll end this by saying that in some form or another many people will have done this at least once in their life. I have. In a sense it is "normal" behavior in that a lot of us experience it in one form or another. The difference between you and I is that I made a conscious decision to stop AND DID. You also have to make that decision, so that not only can you avoid any potential problems but also that that you may grieve the loss and begin to heal. Then you will become a much stronger, happier person as a result.

Good luck! :smile: