My ex and I broke up 4 weeks ago and we didn't contact each other until last Saturday when he sent me a message to see how things were. We were texting for a while then we chatted on the phone. He told me how much he'd missed talking to me and being with me. He then called down to my house where we chatted for a good hour or so. Then we had sex. I know I shouldn't have until the issues between us had been completely ironed out. Now I feel stupid. The next morning he said we really need to figure out the "state of play" between us. He said he did want more and that things have to and will change between us. Basically we had broke up because our relationship had essentially devolved into FWB's, my family thought I deserved better and decided to message him (my mum and cousin.) He had agreed at the time that I was better off without him etc and I didn't hear from him until last week. He said he didn't care what my family think. He has feelings for me and really cares about me. Unfortunately now I am no further forward as to where I stand. I have been texting him through the week and have had *some* replies. Not as much as I like. I know he works a lot and I respect that but I really need to know if we can make this work! What do I do now?
You should be the one to decide what you want from the relationship, don't let the fam intervene tbh.
It can work out, there is nothing wrong with FWB, if you enjoy it as well. You need to first get clear on what you want from the relationship and address that with him, go from there and make the decisions to what you want yourself
My ex and I broke up 4 weeks ago and we didn't contact each other until last Saturday when he sent me a message to see how things were. We were texting for a while then we chatted on the phone. He told me how much he'd missed talking to me and being with me. He then called down to my house where we chatted for a good hour or so. Then we had sex. I know I shouldn't have until the issues between us had been completely ironed out. Now I feel stupid. The next morning he said we really need to figure out the "state of play" between us. He said he did want more and that things have to and will change between us. Basically we had broke up because our relationship had essentially devolved into FWB's, my family thought I deserved better and decided to message him (my mum and cousin.) He had agreed at the time that I was better off without him etc and I didn't hear from him until last week. He said he didn't care what my family think. He has feelings for me and really cares about me. Unfortunately now I am no further forward as to where I stand. I have been texting him through the week and have had *some* replies. Not as much as I like. I know he works a lot and I respect that but I really need to know if we can make this work! What do I do now?
He played you. he wanted more FWB so he threw a few lines in and you fell for it. It will work for him if he gets continuing sex at the expense of throwing a few lines in about caring for you and thinking theres a chance. He might even cry.
It sounds doomed. Stop it cut all contact, delete him from all social media and block him from anything else. Find another person who you can have a genuine relationship with.
I just want to know where I stand to be honest. If a FWB situation is all he wants at this time, then to be honest I'd be happy with that for now. I'm not really looking for anything too heavy at the minute anyways. I just don't know how to ask him what the "state of play" between us is exactly? Any suggestions?
You should be the one to decide what you want from the relationship, don't let the fam intervene tbh.
It can work out, there is nothing wrong with FWB, if you enjoy it as well. You need to first get clear on what you want from the relationship and address that with him, go from there and make the decisions to what you want yourself
Go no contact and take a break from things. Keeping in touch WILL NOT HELP, especially when you end up sleeping with him.
Back off, think, and decide what needs to be done for things to work out next time around.
We did go no contact for three weeks and then he sent a message. I rang him and we talked, then he came down. I know what l want: him! How I'm meant to tell him, I don't know.