I assume i'm gay but I am apprehensive about being gay

I am a 20 year old student raised in Northern Ireland. I'm pretty certain that I am gay or at least have some level of attraction towards men. I didn't start to work out what my sexuality was until around 17 but at that point I decided to ignore it and get on with life. Coming out at that point wouldn't have been a great idea for me.

At 20 now, I am more mature and realistic about the situation. I have started to think about the future and how my life is going to end up. At this stage, I am still finding it difficult to accept that I am probably gay. I suspect my family know, I have had a subtle hints (or so I think) but I am not 100 percent certain. For example, the other week my grandmother/aunt/parents started to talk about a gay neighbour who came out to his wife. The conversation went on for a while but the ghist of it involved them suggesting that a gay man should come out the closet (my father went on about how accepting society is) and that they should not be in a relationship with a woman. I don't know if the conversation was directed at me but it was uncomfortable for me as I felt as though they were trying to force me out of the closet. This is my sexuality but it is not the life that I aspired to as I grew older. I have always seen myself getting married to a woman and having children.. I have always wanted and still want to have one child of my own. I have a number of things stopping me from coming out.. One being the above. The other is the worry of being alone/isolated later in life.. I am a person who likes my company. I also live in Northern Ireland, a relatively religious country - in my area there are quite a few Evangelical Christians who aren't fond of the gay lifestyle (I have friends who write about homosexuality as a sin on Facebook as an example). I have relatives who have expressed discust towards Homosexuals, some have went on to say that the lifestyle is a choice - *I would be worried about the response from these relatives. I would need to be set up financially and comfortable in myself before coming out. I am terrified that I would cut myself off and end up cast off if I were to come out now. I already have self esteem issues and other problems so I wouldn't want to cause myself anymore hassle.

I have been thinking about this lately mainly due to (in my head) hints from my parents. I don't know what to do here. I'm not sure if this is the lifestyle that I want to lead. * *