I'm a mum, rather than a student - so possibly shouldn't be using this forum, but I would really appreciate some advice please on whether I should finance my daughter through uni and I have nobody else to turn to for advice.
Her dad and I are high earners, but have little spare cash after paying the mortgage, the independent school fees of our younger children and financially supporting our eldest child through uni.
Our second eldest child is now due to start uni. Unlike the rest of our family who are close, she has behaved really badly to us for around three years. She rarely spends any time at home and, on the odd occasion that she is home, she is constantly verbally abusive. Everything that she says to us is an insult or deliberately designed to be as hurtful as possible. She holds the view that she can be as abusive as she wishes but that we are duty bound to support her because we have to pay the same as we are doing for her older sibling. Whilst I feel that it is important to treat all my children equally, I also feel that an important lesson in life is to treat everyone with a basic level of respect and to treat others how we would like to be treated ourselves.
My feeling is that we need to withold funding for her uni course until she acts like a member of the loving family of which she is part. In so doing, I would hope that she supports herself by working with people that have not benefited from her priviledged upbringing, and therefore teach her that her wonderful life (and her family) are not as dreadful as she believes. I would make up for this lack of support by reinstating it in later terms if she modifies her behaviour to us or saving up the unpaid uni support for help towards her first house deposit for after uni.
Am I being uncaring, unhelpful or unfair if I withold uni support? Can you think of any better solutions please? Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and offer any advice.
Should parents always support their student children if they can afford it?
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