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Worried about being lonely in old age.

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    I'm female and don't want to have kids ever as I have a fear of pregnancy and would just hate having something inside me for 9 months, I don't even cope well with periods. Another reason is that with me not being all that far off 30 now I won't have a decent career and income sorted till my mid 30's. I enjoy sports and setting myself goals and know that I won't be mentally ready to raise a child till over 40, therefore it will be too late. I quite like the idea of raising a child though later in life, maybe adopting when I'm in my 40's though (whether I'm single or with someone) and have a good income.

    The thing is though I worry about being lonely in old age. Obviously I can't just have a child so that it will provide company/look after me lol this is considered selfish, but you can't really beat having a good family around when you are old. I've seen it with my own family, I've no idea how my gram would have coped without her 3 daughters, 2 who were nurses, to look out for her and be her advocate when she was in hospital. The NHS is big on empathy and providing quality care in its paperwork, but in reality this is not always demonstrated in its practice. There's a lot of miscommunication, staff not really caring due to high workload and some poor practice (not neccasarily deliberate). I have seen this with several family members. So I guess I was wondering what the best thing for someone childless to do in order to try and ensure they have some sort of company/advocate in old age. I'm an only child too so no brothers and sisters just 2 cousins, when my parents are gone I'l have no one. . I don't know why this plays on my mind but it does.

    Well, you certainly sound conflicted. Do you want to get married, ever? That person will then become your family as well. You may stick with your decision to stay child-free but you sound like you might be waffling too. Remember this....every human you see around the world was born!! Yes, there can occasionally be a poor outcome of a pregnancy but for the vast, vast number of people is is a healthy normal occurrence. If it were scary there wouldn't be billions of people on the planet. That may not put your mind at ease or change your mind but you perhaps you should think about it anyway. Without having children you need to consider how close you are to other extended family members as you get older. You should also consider your income and putting money away as a savings. Having a financial nest egg is also (very) helpful as you get older and if necessary you hire someone who will look after you. It will all work out....you are many, many years away from being old so other than putting some $$$ away for a savings if possible (you never know when you'll need that - maybe before you're old) you should just enjoy today and the rest will work itself out!

    If you don't like the idea of being pregnant or giving birth, you can always adopt? As long as you're upfront and honest with any potential partners it shouldn't be a problem, as they'll be able to decide whether or not your ideas on children are compatible. If you decide you absolutely don't want any children ever then again this won't be a problem for some partners - you just need to find a partner that doesn't want children either
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