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Mixed signals

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Why bother with a post grad? Are they even worth it? Have your say! 26-10-2016
    • Thread Starter

    So, bit of an odd one. I need some advice. Theres a guy (23) runs his own business, very busy man. Then there is me (18) retail. Two completely different people, but there is definately something there. We have been speaking for over two months now, but that is literally it. Speaking. He says he likes me and so on (will spare you the details) but i dont know, something just doesnt feel right. We get on unbelievably well, always laughing. I understand how busy but one minute he is full on, so full on. Then, the next, so distant. I dont want to lay my cards on the table and potentially be vulnerable but i cant hide my feelings from myself. He was in a 4 year relationship just weeks before meeting me. I would understand if he just wants some fun but he says its more with me, he seems genuine but hes actions say different. Do i continue and allow my feelings to grow, risk being hurt or possibly progress with him? Or do i cut him off completely, save my feelings but never know "what if"?

    I don't know that you need to cut him off completely but I'd back off emotionally for a while (if possible). I wouldn't talk to him about liking him or him liking you. Coming off a 4 year relationship he may not be fully ready to move on to the next person. His ex, especially if it ended poorly, may still be on his mind. His emotions may still be raw from the break-up. But, being that he is saying the right things but has no follow up is a bit of a red flag in my opinion. It is possible he's just looking for some quick fun and leave it at that. I also sense, and I don't know why, that the fact that he's a business owner and he's busy is somewhat an excuse. Yes, I'm sure he is actually quite busy but, there is a saying and it's true, you make time to do the things you want to do. He may just be sorting his emotions out and thinking of his next steps in life; but if you would rather risk not getting hurt I wouldn't put too much emotional investment in this until he starts showing you - other than just saying words- that he actually wants to get to know you and take your friendship further. Also, he may just want a break from all relationships for a bit especially if the ex was super clingy or controlling. You're right about the 'what if' part but you could spend a whole lot of time wondering 'what if' and find it comes to absolutely nothing and you just wasted time. For now, I'd just back off and see if he takes the lead. Continue in whatever method you use to communicate with him but I'd only chat with him as a friend, and keep it only on friend type topics, until he actually asks you out or asks to spend some extra time with you getting to know you. If he's interested in trying to build a relationship with you he'll follow up and continue to chat with you, even if you're keeping it on a friend level. Keeping it on a friend level for now will protect your heart.
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