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How to deal with this

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    • Thread Starter

    So I'm starting 6th form in 2 weeks. And I'm pretty excited to get on and learn some new stuff. But there's one thing I'm dreading. New people.

    I am not social, at all. I have about 3 friends I talk to regularly and I never leave the house unless it's for school or family needs. This is due to my hatred of being around people. I get really really in my own head about things, I have to plan out conversations in my head if I meet with people, and if it doesn't go to plan I freeze up. I live in constant fear of judgement. I'm always thinking about what other people think of me. In past lessons I used to never talk in case I said something wrong or made a fool of myself. Some days I can't leave the house at all because I look in the mirror and just breakdown and go back to bed. People tell me to not care, but I can't help it. I also speak pretty quietly, and I thought my voice was annoying and loud, but it turns out I'm very quiet and sometimes people can't understand what I say and I usually have to repeat myself.

    So now with me going to sixth form, I not only have to go back into a public space, but with new people with only one friend to help, and they don't know how serious my mind is and I don't particularly want them to know.

    So if anyone has any advice on how to cope or any tips to help calm down or how to deal with new people that would be helpful.

    I feel the same way too, I've always had problems socialising yet as it turns out, you need to know how to form connections with people in order to get jobs after you leave school. So if there were a way to get us socially awkward people together who are more understanding of each other, it can only be good for all of us

    I used to be like you, back when I started secondary school. I can attribute all my social skills to one thing - Drama. Doing Drama at GCSE and continuing it out of college during my AS levels (starting year 13 in September) has increased my social skills and self confidence by 10000%. The reason for this is simple - firstly, when you're acting you can; no, you HAVE to be someone else. This helps you see yourself from the other side, and also be more courageous or outgoing. Secondly, a drama studio is the only place I have ever been in where nobody judges you, no matter what.

    If you don't want to go that far, try debating - it forces you to talk with (and to) people, and also trains you to be quick and confident on your feet.

    As far as meeting new people goes, introduce yourself to whoever you end up sitting next to in lessons. Make sure to remember people's names, and reciprocate their conversation. Don't be afraid of who you are - there will always be someone who has the same interests in you.

    Think about it this way - do you remember something silly or embarrassing you did 10 years ago? I'm sure you do. Now do you remember something silly or embarrassing your friend did 10 years ago? Probably not. And even if you do, do you bring it up? Do you change your opinion of them because of it? The truth is that nobody cares if you made a mistake or have a pimple on your nose or tripped on your first day - so you shouldn't care either.

    It's alright. I moved sixth forms too and it isn't bad. You'll be fine!
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