Your thoughts on this kind of break up?
I've know him for just over 5 years (from 13) and he developed feelings for me when we were 14, I reciprocated them at 16. We've had an on and off relationship for the last 2 years.
We came to realise that it felt more like we were close friends who enjoyed having sex together. We both agreed that we weren't compatible enough for a long-term relationship, so we agreed to be friends with benefits and let each other meet other people when we go to different universities this year.
He asked me to promise that we will still be good friends because we know so much about each other and we've supported each other through some extremely rough times.
I care about and respect him so much and I have a strong feeling that we'll be lifelong friends. I also look forward to when he finds someone who is better for him than I was.
What are your opinions on this kind of break up? Could you be friends with an ex straight away?
We came to realise that it felt more like we were close friends who enjoyed having sex together. We both agreed that we weren't compatible enough for a long-term relationship, so we agreed to be friends with benefits and let each other meet other people when we go to different universities this year.
He asked me to promise that we will still be good friends because we know so much about each other and we've supported each other through some extremely rough times.
I care about and respect him so much and I have a strong feeling that we'll be lifelong friends. I also look forward to when he finds someone who is better for him than I was.
What are your opinions on this kind of break up? Could you be friends with an ex straight away?
Personally I would not be able to cope with an arrangement like you've described because it just conflicts with the kind of person I am, but there's nothing wrong with doing it the way you have if you're happy with it. It's not typical by any means, but nobody seems to be getting hurt and you both seem pretty clear on how it works and your boundaries and such. As long as you can cut off the sexual part of your relationship when either of you get into a relationship then you should be good.
I could not have dated anyone who was still best buddies with their friend with benefits though.
I could not have dated anyone who was still best buddies with their friend with benefits though.
Sounds messy. I don't give it long before one person starts feeling differently again.
Original post by Anonymous
He asked me to promise that we will still be good friends
He asked me to promise that we will still be good friends
You don't really expect this to be true, do you? You're 18, right? You had this connection together, I can't see how you'll be lifelong friends after breaking up and becoming **** buddies... Jealousy will soon ensue and then things will get messy.
Incoming drama in 3, 2, 1...
Original post by Pinkberry_y
Yeah, I can already see the future thread of you declaring your jealousy over him finding a girlfriend at uni
Or of the future girlfriend/ boyfriend being jealous of the friendship...
I genuinely do not know how you can be friends with benefits with your ex. Doesn't the sex make you feel closer to him? I'd be an emotional hot mess if I had an arrangement like yours.
I'm accepting of the fact that there are better girls out there for him, and he will have better relationships than what he had with me. This is why I don't feel jealousy. If he's happy, I refuse to be anything but happy for him.
I see sex as something that's just fun. Emotions don't come into play until afterwards, where I want to cuddle, but the cuddle feeling is not how I define love. A surge in oxytocin is temporary, like lust.
Friends with benefits doesn't work for everyone, we're all different and that's okay!
I can't speak for his, but if I had a new boyfriend/girlfriend who was really uncomfortable with it, I wouldn't give up my friendship with him for them. Obviously the dynamic would change, I'm very against cheating in a monogamous relationship. I'd like to think a new partner would trust me enough to be okay with the friendship, knowing that it would only be a friendship.
I see sex as something that's just fun. Emotions don't come into play until afterwards, where I want to cuddle, but the cuddle feeling is not how I define love. A surge in oxytocin is temporary, like lust.
Friends with benefits doesn't work for everyone, we're all different and that's okay!
I can't speak for his, but if I had a new boyfriend/girlfriend who was really uncomfortable with it, I wouldn't give up my friendship with him for them. Obviously the dynamic would change, I'm very against cheating in a monogamous relationship. I'd like to think a new partner would trust me enough to be okay with the friendship, knowing that it would only be a friendship.
Original post by Anonymous
I've know him for just over 5 years (from 13) and he developed feelings for me when we were 14, I reciprocated them at 16. We've had an on and off relationship for the last 2 years.
We came to realise that it felt more like we were close friends who enjoyed having sex together. We both agreed that we weren't compatible enough for a long-term relationship, so we agreed to be friends with benefits and let each other meet other people when we go to different universities this year.
He asked me to promise that we will still be good friends because we know so much about each other and we've supported each other through some extremely rough times.
I care about and respect him so much and I have a strong feeling that we'll be lifelong friends. I also look forward to when he finds someone who is better for him than I was.
What are your opinions on this kind of break up? Could you be friends with an ex straight away?
We came to realise that it felt more like we were close friends who enjoyed having sex together. We both agreed that we weren't compatible enough for a long-term relationship, so we agreed to be friends with benefits and let each other meet other people when we go to different universities this year.
He asked me to promise that we will still be good friends because we know so much about each other and we've supported each other through some extremely rough times.
I care about and respect him so much and I have a strong feeling that we'll be lifelong friends. I also look forward to when he finds someone who is better for him than I was.
What are your opinions on this kind of break up? Could you be friends with an ex straight away?
I could not do what you are doing, I would have to cut all contact, this sounds very messy all round.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- ex unblocked me
- Can I see other people while on a break?
- Struggling with balancing a-levels and relationships
- emotional attachment???
- Wth is open-relationship
- Rate my lyrics :) everything is appreciated.
- ex boyfriend advice
- Dealing with post break up depression
- Slept with a prostitute after breakup. Feel disgusted and ashamed at it all.
- Degree Apprenticeship
- A strange teacher
- If a girl is already dating a guy does that mean she doesn't want to date you?
- I don't think I like him as much as he likes me.
- How do you get into good study habits?(Autistic/Neurodivergent.)
- What grades am I meant to be getting?
- University Life
- Tinnitus and exams
- End of the day blues...don't mind me
- deleted
- I can't stop cheating
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
