Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

I love my friend

Announcements Posted on
Would YOU be put off a uni with a high crime rate? First 50 to have their say get a £5 Amazon voucher! 27-10-2016
    • Thread Starter

    I've been good friends with a guy for about 7 months, and until a few weeks ago, we used to talk more or less every day with just a couple of exceptions.

    I've always had feelings but for him it never went any further than sexual attraction and wanting to be FWB (tried, but I ended up getting attached). I fell in love with him and things became complicated between us. He knew my feelings and said that whilst I was amazing with everything going for me and beautiful he was still in love with his ex and didn't see it working with me.
    I tried not seeing for a while, going on other dates, repeating to myself his bad points over and over (which I know he does have) but nothing worked.

    He has moved abroad now, but we stayed in touch online. I unfortunately had to stop the friendship and sent him a msg explaining why I had deleted him as a friend and deleted his number, and he was disappointed but seemed to understand.

    He said he was really sad for me but couldn't force it with me, and plus he was in another country now.

    I know he's really not worth it and he says so himself but I've felt this way for 7 months. He felt really bad, and so I just ended up telling him that I was totally over it all and that I knew we weren't right for each other, had finally realised etc. and that I was no longer interestedin anything more. (It's not entirely true, but I didn't want him to feel bad about me)

    We've exchanged the odd msg here and there and he's going to be in the area soon and has asked to meet up for a drink. I've agreed. I don't think it will change anything.

    I've made clear to him that he was one of my best friends and that I really did want his friendship, I wasn't going to cut him from my life forever etc. but to be honest, I don't know if our friendship can be the same, for a while at least.

    Any other advice? I'd love to just have zero feelings for me. He's not always been great with me, and I can even recogise that. Will it really take me having to meet someone else?

    We're barely in contact at all, I don't have him on fb, and I don't even see him anymore.. just really want to fully get over him..
    • Thread Starter

    What's also tough is that he used to like me in the same way (I could tell he liked me when we first met, he was very nervous and everything) and he was also confused about his feelings towards me for a couple of months, but then finally said he only saw me a s afriend.

    For me, I crushed on the same guy all throughout high school and he never felt the same and it took for me to meet someone new at college (was still hung up on the other guy so it took months to realise how amazing he is) and I've not talked to the high school guy since last October. The guy from college is like my rock and I couldn't be happier.

    Moral of the story, it will probably take for you to meet someone new before you properly move on and I wouldn't advise meeting him as all your feelings will come back which is horrible because it just makes you feel worse
    • Thread Starter

    I'm really glad to hear you finally moved on from the guy and met someone even better that gives me loads of hope! Yeah, it probably will.. I'm trying to go out and meet new people at the moment ,so will see. It also sucks to lose the friendship, as we were close.
    But he's going to see his ex soon abroad ( even if he says they'll never get back together) and it hurts me, but what can I do. Would rather not see pics all over facebook and that sort of thing, I really hope our friendship can resume one day, but no idea when..
Write a reply…


Submit reply


Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: September 2, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

I want...

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.