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Girls, is it bad if I'm a bit old fashioned?

I'm old fashioned in some ways. I open doors for girls (but not guys), I pull chairs for my date (formal dates!), I'm far more polite to girls than to guys (e.g. I rarely cuss in front of girls), I'd rather I pay for the first date, etc. All the things girls are supposed to hate nowadays. Now, I've never had a girl tell me they dislike those things mainly because as you can see, it's mostly how I act around them. It doesn't require of them to act in a certain manner. But I've read online that many girls hate some of those things because they're sexist.

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Reply 1
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
Original post by Anonymous
But I've read online that many girls hate some of those things because they're sexist.


What.
I don't think it's bad, I'm pretty old fashioned too tbh
If you're going to pay for my food then be my guest.
*orders the lobster & vintage wine*
Reply 4
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by UWS
What.


Yes. Opening doors for girls = sexist. Paying on the first date = sexist.
I think it's great but you need a bit of old-fashioned ruggedness to pull it off.
I think it's lovely.
Reply 7
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by hollywoodbudgie
If you're going to pay for my food then be my guest.
*orders the lobster & vintage wine*


I would if you were a nice person. Besides, I like lobster and vintage wines too. But you don't seem nice, sorry.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm old fashioned in some ways. I open doors for girls (but not guys), I pull chairs for my date (formal dates!), I'm far more polite to girls than to guys (e.g. I rarely cuss in front of girls), I'd rather I pay for the first date, etc. All the things girls are supposed to hate nowadays. Now, I've never had a girl tell me they dislike those things mainly because as you can see, it's mostly how I act around them. It doesn't require of them to act in a certain manner. But I've read online that many girls hate some of those things because they're sexist.


Interesting topic, actually.

Unfortunately now-a-days it seems such behaviors are interpreted as being the dreaded "nice guy" and thus not worthy of affection, unless you're already in a stable relationship with a girl in which case you'll get praised to high-heaven. I'm not sure why, perhaps it's because it's not a display of edginess that most young women seem to go for now-a-days, but inherently there's nothing bad or wrong about exhibiting those behaviors. That all said, you have to want to do it. It has to be in your very nature to perform these acts, and not as some masked attempt to woo the lady. Dishonesty is a turn-off, a massive one.
Feminist here:

I don't think there's a problem. It's polite to hold doors open; it's polite to offer to pay for meal. If your girl doesn't normally curl her hair or wear those heels/winged liner, then you're both making an effort to impress the other.

But if she says she can open doors for herself listen to that because she might find it condescending.

Tl;dr there's a difference between the white hetero patriarchy forcing us to submit and manners imo
I may only pay for the date if it went really well other than that f*#k that. Holding doors and stuff is just stupid. She's got her own hands 😂😂😂 or maybe im rude
That's just radical feminists, i think most girls are fine with those things
There's a difference between a nice gesture and treating someone as inferior

This attitude of not cursing in front of girls for example, stems from the idea that girls are more sensitive, but radical feminists take that as weakness
When I say sensitive it's just things relating to feelings of love and intuition, emotions, radical feminists would take that to deem I was implying women are hysterical which is just an extreme of female-ness lol as there is the extreme side of male-ness
But although guys and girls are not 100% female or male, women are more female brained or balanced and same for guys.

All you're doing is expressing your yang to the womens' yin and that's how attraction works

If a woman was more yang, you'd need to be a more yin guy to counteract

It's just about individuals not all girls in general, their social conditioning and beliefs and whatever else
Original post by 1010marina
Feminist here:

I don't think there's a problem. It's polite to hold doors open; it's polite to offer to pay for meal. If your girl doesn't normally curl her hair or wear those heels/winged liner, then you're both making an effort to impress the other.

But if she says she can open doors for herself listen to that because she might find it condescending.

Tl;dr there's a difference between the white hetero patriarchy forcing us to submit and manners imo


No girl has ever complained irl. I wasn't even aware that there was a problem until I read about it online. Those things come naturally to me, I don't actually make a conscious effort to do them.
Original post by ImNotReallyMe
That's just radical feminists, i think most girls are fine with those things
There's a difference between a nice gesture and treating someone as inferior

This attitude of not cursing in front of girls for example, stems from the idea that girls are more sensitive, but radical feminists take that as weakness
When I say sensitive it's just things relating to feelings of love and intuition, emotions, radical feminists would take that to deem I was implying women are hysterical which is just an extreme of female-ness lol as there is the extreme side of male-ness
But although guys and girls are not 100% female or male, women are more female brained or balanced and same for guys.

All you're doing is expressing your yang to the womens' yin and that's how attraction works

If a woman was more yang, you'd need to be a more yin guy to counteract

It's just about individuals not all girls in general, their social conditioning and beliefs and whatever else


Wow ok. Seems more serious than I thought. Even if I think that girls are more sensitve than guys, why does that imply that I think they're inferior? I'm more sensitive than my brother, I never thought of myself as "inferior" to him. There are differences in sensitivity among men too, some men are more sensitive than other men.

I was definitely conditioned to act this way around girls, it happens unconsciously. I don't think that's a bad thing, good manners are learned, they're not intuitive.
Original post by RDKGames
Mate you're doing it wrong. Girls nowadays love being treated like dirt!


In my experience, girls love it :dontknow:
I don't get why it's bad to be a nice guy. Clearly, it's horrible to pretend to be nice only because you want sex from a girl. I'm not interested in sex when I hold the door for a 45 year old random woman or when I don't cuss in front of my mum and my sister.
Everyone likes to be treated decently, and OP, you know that, but also, not condescending like they're a 'delicate flower' or something. Tbh, everyone should split the bill; that doesn't look cheap.
(edited 7 years ago)
OP, the 1940s called for you, and it wants its Fedora back.
Reply 18
Avatar for kiwi94
kiwi94
10
lol I seem like I'm in the minority here, but most of my friends and I actually find all these things really sweet and nice and that's really rare nowadays so it makes it even more cute.
Don't believe everything you read

the radical feminists will supposedly hate it but do people actually know any radical feminists? because I don't. some of my friends identify as being feminists and pretty much all of us want our men to be gentlemen so don't worry, there are still women out there who appreciate it

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