Do I tell him how I feel?

There is a guy i've been good friends with for around 8 months. I've always liked him, and we've already been through this a few months ago ,I had feelings for him, he didn't, but we remained friends nevertheless.

I have tried to move on/forget the feelings etc. but I can't. We remain good friends ,but I just keep my feelings to myself.

Sadly, he's moving to the other side of the world in 2 weeks. I don't know how long for; maybe for good. He'll be back occasionally to visit, but not much.

I know I am in love with him, and I know he isn't with me, but that's ok, I have accepted it and that we will only just be friends.

Part of me wonders whether I should tell him again, and tell him that I'm in love. I know it won't change his mind, but I want him to know just how much he means to me, and it will help me to get it off my chest. I want to tell him before he goes. We will stay in contact online, but we won't really see each other anymore ,and it won't be the same.

If you were me, would you tell him, or would it just cause problems? I've already told him in the past I'm totally ok about being friends, but I just want him to know how special he is to me..

Reply 1

Reeeeyah

13

If you've already told him before that you love him and he didn't return the feelings then I don't really see the point in telling him again. I don't think you have accepted that you are just friends or you wouldn't feel the need to tell him these things and honestly you're going to push him away as a friend if you keep trying to force these feelings on him that he doesn't feel in return.

I would save yourself the heartache to be honest. Now is your perfect opportunity to let go and find someone who actually feels the same way about you.

Reply 2

Immy333

1

If I was you, I would tell him how much he means to you as a friend. I think that will mean a lot to him. I wouldn't' focuses on the fact that you are in love with him. it's going to be hard for him to move away as it is, you don't want him feeling bad about not retuning your feelings.
hope it all goes well!

Reply 3

Crankyla

11

Original post by Anonymous

There is a guy i've been good friends with for around 8 months. I've always liked him, and we've already been through this a few months ago ,I had feelings for him, he didn't, but we remained friends nevertheless.

I have tried to move on/forget the feelings etc. but I can't. We remain good friends ,but I just keep my feelings to myself.

Sadly, he's moving to the other side of the world in 2 weeks. I don't know how long for; maybe for good. He'll be back occasionally to visit, but not much.

I know I am in love with him, and I know he isn't with me, but that's ok, I have accepted it and that we will only just be friends.

Part of me wonders whether I should tell him again, and tell him that I'm in love. I know it won't change his mind, but I want him to know just how much he means to me, and it will help me to get it off my chest. I want to tell him before he goes. We will stay in contact online, but we won't really see each other anymore ,and it won't be the same.

If you were me, would you tell him, or would it just cause problems? I've already told him in the past I'm totally ok about being friends, but I just want him to know how special he is to me..

This is a tricky situation, and unfortunately, there isn't really a good answer. You could tell him how you feel and hope that it lifts a weight off your chest. However, you also run the risk of potentially making things awkward between the two of you and damaging the friendship.

Or you can keep your feelings to yourself and keep the friendship as it is. But then a few years down the line, you might find out that he had developed feelings for you, but it's now too late - you've both moved on.

What you need to ask yourself is this: what will you regret more? Telling him and potentially making things weird between you, or not telling him and never knowing what might come of it?

I had a similar situation several months ago. I had feelings for one of the guys in my Chem class. I really did like him and I agonised for weeks about whether or not to tell him. I eventually did, but he said that he doesn't like me in that way, but as a friend. It hurt - a lot, in fact - but I had... closure, for lack of a better word, and knew for certain that nothing would come from it, so it forced myself to move on. I don't regret telling him.

I'm sorry, I know this probably isn't the best advice, or maybe not the advice you want to hear, but I hope it does help some x

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Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

thank you for the replies :smile:

I've decided that it would be best not to tell him; I don't want to make him feel bad, and he's already stressed about moving abroad as has been said. I think it will solve nothing after all. He's going abroad, and we won't be together.. but as another poster has said, I'm going to tell him how much I appreciate his friendship and what a great guy I think he is, and I hope that will make him happy :smile:

Do I tell him how I feel?

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