Like woman but a bit insecure about her 'Americanness'

OK. She is attractive, we have some physical attraction, that's how we met.
The chemistry, after she spent an evening round mine chatting, isn't the most natural but it's not unnatural. We were a bit nervous. She's definitely smart and we found some stimulating ground and common interest or eccentricity that is quite rare.

However. I'm about 10yrs older. (35). I have had problems. I don't have her career.
I feel she has an American confidence and vim, and wordly experience of living in France, different places in the US, and she may go to Korea next.

I feel dull. compared to her. When we sat talking she said she didn't know how she felt, which was how I did.

I said I'd text and didn't .I actually wanted to just be honest and tell her I think she's interesting but I'm not to her, just because I want the truth, I'd tell her that was why I didn't text.

What do you reckon? Especially seeking ladies advice here...

Reply 1

username155270

Do not tell her that, big turn off.

Reply 2

tazarooni89

Original post by xobeauty

Do not tell her that, big turn off.

Agree with this. Keep your insecurities to yourself and let the relationship develop naturally.

She already finds you interesting enough to want to be meeting up with you, so there's no reason to highlight to her everything that's dull about you and make her change her mind.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by tazarooni89

She found me interesting enough to meet...then liked my place and all. And obviously I shouldn't be too hard on myself that she didn't want to sleep with me first time.

She did say, when we went from the kitchen to the sofa, that she wasn't sure how she felt and that she was shy about getting physical..I think her words were she wasn't sure about being physical yet, which might mean I was doing better than I thought.

I just have been insulted a lot in life, especially I have been put down throughout my life by my sis, and I deep down lack the belief I have stuff to offer, they only ever say good stuff when it's to patronise. I don't feel like a girl with her life when I'm just in my hometown, financially ok through help from folks, and having had many problems, will want me, even if she clearly did on first impression find me physically attractive.

Ah....anyone?

I need to ask more about this. OK the American thing is no problem really,

What I want to ask more specifically, is what happens when you don't know how you feel?

On one hand it may have not been the most instinctive feeling of fitting. But on the ohter hand, objectively I like her, I find her stimulating and I think there is a lot of interesting stuff to talk about and depth she has, and I find her attractive- It's sort of like, natural attractions that just fit where you feel so comfortable, vs this which is more effort, less sure how I feel, but on the other hand she is stimulating and maybe it is more interesting for the effort made.

I am really asking for insights on this, I mean, can you not real feel it instinctively, compatibility, not know how you fell, and yet if they are a good person, and an interesting, stimulating one, and you are attracted, can it develop into work from not the absolute most natural feeling?

I just saw her and felt really bad as we barely made eye contact, didn't speak, and I didn't text her after seeing her when I said I would. I probably, really oddly, judged her as not liking me enough just for not getting physical first date, she said she was shy and left- but she does have a flat share to get back to and why would she first night....

I just an confused because I felt crap about not texting and the impersonal callousness of how we didn't speak, but I also think I might have felt feelings for her when I saw her again.

I felt like i'd lost something by being detached again. Is this loneliness, do I like her, do I have feelings I can't process, did I judge too soon? I am so confused because I think she is really interesting and attractive.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Damn, now it is really bugging me. I can't shrug it off, I think seeing her made me realise I had more feelings for her than I thought. it's getting to me and I think she looked hurt.

Like woman but a bit insecure about her 'Americanness'

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