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Need to decide by tommorrow if I want to take my hijab off

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically, I've been wearing the hijab since primary school. I'm 19 now and I'm going to enrol for uni tommorrow. This summer I've been comtemplating taking the hijab off. I'm not a particulary devout muslim and I just feel like the hijab is a barrier. At work there are no other hijabis and I just feel out of place at times. A lot of the times people make assumptions about me based on the hijab when I usually believe in the complete opposite.

    My mums fine with me taking it off but I'm really scared. I'm going to be commuting from home to uni. I live in a tight knit muslim community and I went to school with most of them (majority of them will also be attending the same uni as me)..A lot of them are brutal when it comes to things like this.. I pretty much know that they're going to stare and brand me a **** and I'm just not ready for that. Also ngl the men here are creepy perves. My sister who doesn't wear a scarf gets wolf whistled, stared at and on a couple of occassions has been followed. Right now wearing the scarf is protecting me from all that crap.

    My sisters say I should take it off. They say that in the long term its more of a hinderance. Personally, I'm in two minds. Part of me wants to take it off but another part wants to just keep it on because life is easier that way. A friend of mine said to me that my argument to keep it on never once mentioned religion so clearly I'm not wearing it for god so I should take it off but idk what to do guys. I still haven't uploaded a uni photo for my enrolment tommorrow because I don't know if should upload one with or without my scarf
    You're going to get both very different opinions on here.
    Muslims on one hand will tell you to keep it on, non Muslims on the other will tell you to ditch it.
    This will probably confuse you even more.

    I think the problem is you don't understand the reasoning behind wearing the hijab. You're just wearing it because you were told you had to, or for some other reason which has led you to wear it just for the sake of it.

    Before you make your decision just make an effort to research why Allah (SWT) has sent down this command, what the actual purpose is behind wearing it and why it's important.
    Have a read online and offline, and watch some videos to help you.
    Then make your decision after this.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You lot are stressing me out
    And I didn't write this is my initial post because I didn't want a full blown religious debate but seeing as it has already turned into that I might as well say my piece. My sister read around Islam a lot and she left Islam because she didn't find the religion to make any sense whatsoever. She then told me to do my own research instead of blindly following a religion I was born into. This past summer I have been reading around Islam and so many things unnerve me about this religion, why can a man 'plough his field whenever he wants to'? Why did the prophet marry a six year old and have sex with her when she was 9? Why is homosexuality punishable by death? Why can a wife not frown in the presence of her husband but her husband can 'lightly beat her with a miswaak?' So yh in addition to my initial post, I really am starting to become disillusioned with Islam. But again I'm scared of what people will say/do if I take off the hijab. My uncle left islam and became a priest and he was beaten by the community and forced to move elsewhere. His whole family also disowned him so yh I just want to take things one step at a time rn
    It doesn't matter what people say. Forget about the community. you do get plenty of Muslim girls who were once hijabjs that aren't anymore. I swear it's this Islamic community that is the root of all the poison in your religion. Also surely if you remain a hijabi because of what your community will say then you're not doing it for the right reasons and surely your God will know this. He'll know your heart really isn't in it even if you're physically wearing one. You need to take a step back and think if you're wearing your hijab for God and you or for those ignorant people around you
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You lot are stressing me out
    And I didn't write this is my initial post because I didn't want a full blown religious debate but seeing as it has already turned into that I might as well say my piece. My sister read around Islam a lot and she left Islam because she didn't find the religion to make any sense whatsoever. She then told me to do my own research instead of blindly following a religion I was born into. This past summer I have been reading around Islam and so many things unnerve me about this religion, why can a man 'plough his field whenever he wants to'? Why did the prophet marry a six year old and have sex with her when she was 9? Why is homosexuality punishable by death? Why can a wife not frown in the presence of her husband but her husband can 'lightly beat her with a miswaak?' So yh in addition to my initial post, I really am starting to become disillusioned with Islam. But again I'm scared of what people will say/do if I take off the hijab. My uncle left islam and became a priest and he was beaten by the community and forced to move elsewhere. His whole family also disowned him so yh I just want to take things one step at a time rn
    This is a good place to start, critical thinking and analysis and the realisation that Islam is full of flaws and contradictions.

    You could take it one step at a time and if necessary, pretend you're a Muslim until you are financially independent enough to move away. This is something many ex-Muslims have done and there's an ex-Muslim Society on this website if you need support and advice from people who have actually left Islam.

    If you want to take your hijab off I'm sure you can give examples to the haters in your community of Muslim women who don't wear it and reason with them that a piece of cloth on your head doesn't determine someone's integrity. But in the long term I don't think it's a good idea to wear the hijab because of toxic individuals in a poisonous community, otherwise you are sacrificing your own happiness and opportunity for a fresh start by being at their mercy.
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    (Original post by HAnwar)
    You're going to get both very different opinions on here.
    Muslims on one hand will tell you to keep it on, non Muslims on the other will tell you to ditch it.
    This will probably confuse you even more.

    I think the problem is you don't understand the reasoning behind wearing the hijab. You're just wearing it because you were told you had to, or for some other reason which has led you to wear it just for the sake of it.

    Before you make your decision just make an effort to research why Allah (SWT) has sent down this command, what the actual purpose is behind wearing it and why it's important.
    Have a read online and offline, and watch some videos to help you.
    Then make your decision after this.

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    YESSS!!! JazakAllah Khairan someone knows whats its all about!
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    Smh at the responses in this thread OP, you are the only person who will have to answer for your own actions, you cannot point the finger at other people and say they recommended that I take it off or keep it on. The choice is your own, I've known close friends who made the decision to wear it, it was a huge step for them and one they felt happy to take after feeling very nervous indeed.

    Just remember: 'For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.' (Qur'an 94:5-6)
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    (Original post by MiszShortee786)
    YESSS!!! JazakAllah Khairan someone knows whats its all about!
    BarakAllahu feeki

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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    Is your mum ok with your sister leaving Islam? If she is then respect to her. Muslim communities need more people like your mother.
    She ignores it because she knows she can't do anything about it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You lot are stressing me out
    And I didn't write this is my initial post because I didn't want a full blown religious debate but seeing as it has already turned into that I might as well say my piece. My sister read around Islam a lot and she left Islam because she didn't find the religion to make any sense whatsoever. She then told me to do my own research instead of blindly following a religion I was born into. This past summer I have been reading around Islam and so many things unnerve me about this religion, why can a man 'plough his field whenever he wants to'? Why did the prophet marry a six year old and have sex with her when she was 9? Why is homosexuality punishable by death? Why can a wife not frown in the presence of her husband but her husband can 'lightly beat her with a miswaak?' So yh in addition to my initial post, I really am starting to become disillusioned with Islam. But again I'm scared of what people will say/do if I take off the hijab. My uncle left islam and became a priest and he was beaten by the community and forced to move elsewhere. His whole family also disowned him so yh I just want to take things one step at a time rn
    Your issues go far deeper than hijab. I would really recommend sitting down with someone knowledgeable in real life and going through them one by one or message one of the sisters from the isoc and talk it through. Like I do understand the hijab is one issue for you right now but you have other bigger issues which may push you to leave Islam.
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    (Original post by getfunky!)
    Smh at the responses in this thread OP, you are the only person who will have to answer for your own actions, you cannot point the finger at other people and say they recommended that I take it off or keep it on. The choice is your own, I've known close friends who made the decision to wear it, it was a huge step for them and one they felt happy to take after feeling very nervous indeed.

    Just remember: 'For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.' (Qur'an 94:5-6)
    But Heir FuhrerFunky, I haven't k0ed anyone on this thread, pls no smh at me
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    Just you do what makes you more comfortable. Try it off for a while and if you don't like it or feel uncomfortable then put it back on. And please don't only keep it on because you feel pressured because that will just make you feel rubbish and you won't be wearing it for the right reasons
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    (Original post by MiszShortee786)
    And how does one cover their modesty? And I dont listen to Male scholars so please get your information right.
    The idea you have that Muslim women should wear a hijab because that equates to modest is rooted from scholars in the past making this interpretation for themselves and passing it along to gullible believers.
    As I said earlier in this thread, the Quran says something along the lines of a woman should cover her bosom and modesty with a Khumir. Khumir is a cloth which covers something. Taking this away from the context of modesty it could mean a cloth covering a table even.
    So actually modesty could mean everything from not walking around everywhere in a bikini or nude to simply covering your chest and not letting everything hang out by placing a cloth or clothing over your chest to cover it
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    You ask a bunch of strangers whether or not to wear the hijab. What has this world come to :sigh:

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    i agree with your friend
    the reasons you stated on why you want to keep it on has nothing to do with religion, so clearly you're not doing it for God
    might as well take it off
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    this doesn't mean im not a hijabi btw, just saying
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    I wouldn't worry about trying to please anyone who would talk behind your back. Stuff them.
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    (Original post by IdeasForLife)
    Your issues go far deeper than hijab. I would really recommend sitting down with someone knowledgeable in real life and going through them one by one or message one of the sisters from the isoc and talk it through. Like I do understand the hijab is one issue for you right now but you have other bigger issues which may push you to leave Islam.
    I have. I sat down with a scholar from my local mosque. I asked him why the prophet married aisha when she was 6 years old and had sex with her when she was 9. He said women matured earlier back then. I asked him why Allah didn't tell the prophet that it was still morally wrong. The scholar said that after the age of puberty a girl is biologically a woman so there is nothing wrong with having sex with her. I then asked him if it was okay for a grown man to have sex with a 9 year old who has hit puberty in this day and age (because he is following the sunnah of the prophet) The scholar said yes, it is permissible in Islam. I stopped listening to him after he said that.
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    I'd say try working with e.g. learn about the Hijab and what it means etc & the rewards behind it. this is so you can understand the religious reasons that may encourage you to carry on wearing it & if you 100% feel you don't want to wear it then take it off. Don't consider it 'taking off' consider it as a way of improving your faith and start learning more about the religion. As far as others, ignore them and take pride in yourself. Goodluck inshaAllah youll be fine lovely Xx
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    So what was her reaction to when your sister left it? I admire both her and your uncle. It must be incredibly difficult and scary to openly come out to the community and leave Islam.
    My mum doesn't react to it or she just tuts. My sister openly calls Islam bs and the prophet a schizophrenic. My mum just shakes her head and tells her that she'll learn when 'she's in her grave'..my mum isn't one to force religion on us tbh
    She just worries that if I take my scarf off I'm going to go off the rails at uni with clubbing etc
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Studentxoxo)
    I'd say try working with e.g. learn about the Hijab and what it means etc & the rewards behind it. this is so you can understand the religious reasons that may encourage you to carry on wearing it & if you 100% feel you don't want to wear it then take it off. Don't consider it 'taking off' consider it as a way of improving your faith and start learning more about the religion. As far as others, ignore them and take pride in yourself. Goodluck inshaAllah youll be fine lovely Xx
    This was a sweet, encouraging post Thank you x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ...
    I see. It was good of you to go out and ask that. How do you think marriage age should work? Should there be a set age or should there be some other indicator?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have. I sat down with a scholar from my local mosque. I asked him why the prophet married aisha when she was 6 years old and had sex with her when she was 9. He said women matured earlier back then. I asked him why Allah didn't tell the prophet that it was still morally wrong. The scholar said that after the age of puberty a girl is biologically a woman so there is nothing wrong with having sex with her. I then asked him if it was okay for a grown man to have sex with a 9 year old who has hit puberty in this day and age (because he is following the sunnah of the prophet) The scholar said yes, it is permissible in Islam. I stopped listening to him after he said that.
    Well... at least he's consistent. I would advise you to take a small break from organised religion, find where you stand before joining anything. You don't subscribe to 'People' magazine if you hate tabloids.
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