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Feeling so down and just need support…

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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So yeah as the title says. I just feel so worthless at the moment and feel as though no one understands me. I've just started A-Levels which i am so happy about because i got into the sixth i had hoped for but i'm feeling the pressure already and can't cope.

    My GCSE grades were rubbish B and Cs and i have to retake my maths in November (i did foundation so laugh at me) My mum constantly picks on me because of this and compares me to my friends on a daily and verbally abuses me on many occasions and hits me if i don't agree with her (i have had numerous nose bleeds and bruises) she sometimes even spits at me and calls me a disgrace.

    She makes me cut all contact from my friends so I talk to them about this and checks my phone so i can't be open to anyone but don't tell them this so they think that I'm anti social or don't like them which i do completely.

    I don't want to talk to my school about it because i don't trust them and i have once before and that didn't end so well. I love my mum but it can just get a bit much and don't want to get separated from my family and it to affect my younger siblings (my mum is fine with them and doesn't abuse them)

    I try and talk to her but it's all the same old or she shouts at me because think that I'm *****ing about her to someone at school. She won't let me listen to music because she thinks i get distracted.

    She says that i have to get AAA at a level otherwise she will disown me and i know she says this for my own good so i can strive to be better but it hurts me and times like this i just cry and wish my life was different…


    What should i do?
    Online

    3
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So yeah as the title says. I just feel so worthless at the moment and feel as though no one understands me. I've just started A-Levels which i am so happy about because i got into the sixth i had hoped for but i'm feeling the pressure already and can't cope.

    My GCSE grades were rubbish B and Cs and i have to retake my maths in November (i did foundation so laugh at me) My mum constantly picks on me because of this and compares me to my friends on a daily and verbally abuses me on many occasions and hits me if i don't agree with her (i have had numerous nose bleeds and bruises) she sometimes even spits at me and calls me a disgrace.

    She makes me cut all contact from my friends so I talk to them about this and checks my phone so i can't be open to anyone but don't tell them this so they think that I'm anti social or don't like them which i do completely.

    I don't want to talk to my school about it because i don't trust them and i have once before and that didn't end so well. I love my mum but it can just get a bit much and don't want to get separated from my family and it to affect my younger siblings (my mum is fine with them and doesn't abuse them)

    I try and talk to her but it's all the same old or she shouts at me because think that I'm *****ing about her to someone at school. She won't let me listen to music because she thinks i get distracted.

    She says that i have to get AAA at a level otherwise she will disown me and i know she says this for my own good so i can strive to be better but it hurts me and times like this i just cry and wish my life was different…


    What should i do?
    Sorry you are having such a rough time. You say you dont trust the school .
    You dont mention your dad? is eh around and able to influence your mum?
    You cna talk to your GP.
    Alternatively you cna call Childline
    https://www.childline.org.uk/get-sup...ing-childline/


    Your mum isnt being very helpful.From the way you describe it , then it doesnt sound like she will give support or listen to you. Pointing it out to her will probably make her worse.

    1. She shouldnt be hitting you, nor should he be laughing or placing unreasonable demands on you. Its a big push to go from C at GCSE to A at A level. I would think it unlikely. If she carries on hitting and abusing you then you should take photos and keep a diary.
    If you decide you cant take it or it gets worse, then you would have to consider getting social services involved and they might intervene and take you out of her care. That is a big step, so its up to you to decide whether you really want out.


    2. The alternative is to still keep a record, phtos etc and work really hard. Dont disagree with her and ignore the abuse. Let it go over your head. Get good A levels and then you cna go to Uni. You will then have a certain amount of freedom. Get a good degree and then a good job. You will then be able to afford your own place and move out. Your mum then wont be able to harass you as much.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Sorry you are having such a rough time. You say you dont trust the school .
    You dont mention your dad? is eh around and able to influence your mum?
    You cna talk to your GP.
    Alternatively you cna call Childline
    https://www.childline.org.uk/get-sup...ing-childline/


    Your mum isnt being very helpful.From the way you describe it , then it doesnt sound like she will give support or listen to you. Pointing it out to her will probably make her worse.

    1. She shouldnt be hitting you, nor should he be laughing or placing unreasonable demands on you. Its a big push to go from C at GCSE to A at A level. I would think it unlikely. If she carries on hitting and abusing you then you should take photos and keep a diary.
    If you decide you cant take it or it gets worse, then you would have to consider getting social services involved and they might intervene and take you out of her care. That is a big step, so its up to you to decide whether you really want out.


    2. The alternative is to still keep a record, phtos etc and work really hard. Dont disagree with her and ignore the abuse. Let it go over your head. Get good A levels and then you cna go to Uni. You will then have a certain amount of freedom. Get a good degree and then a good job. You will then be able to afford your own place and move out. Your mum then wont be able to harass you as much.
    Thank you for the advice! I'll just have to prove her wrong and work hard to get good A-levels.
    Online

    3
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you for the advice! I'll just have to prove her wrong and work hard to get good A-levels.
    Its very important you minimise the effect of her actions because its distracting plus you cant take it to heart. Just knuckle down and focus.

    If you get stressed talk to your GP or childline. The aim is to look after yourself so you need a hard shell so that all the insults and stress bounces off.

    To get good A levels you need to work hard and smart, so like you never have before. Learn the secrets of what you need to do. there are plnety of threads on TSR with tips. Hang in there and good luck.
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    Am I being unreasonable?
    I am 17 and have 2 jobs. I earn £140 a week on average whilst at sixth form. I have to give my mom £20 a week (but that is not enough and thinks I should be giving her at least £80)
    I have to buy my own books and clothes etc, which is fine.
    I will also have to pay for my own driving lessons which will be over £80 a month, however I cannot start them as my mom says they are all too expensive, but I cant find no cheaper. Then my mom complains and calls me lazy etc.
    Today I told her I was joining the gym and she started shouting at me calling me selfish and how the gym is pointless etc and in the next breath will tell me Im fat and need to lose weight.
    She also keeps telling me I need to move out, because she did at 19 and she tells me Im selfish like my dad and that my dad doesnt love me and everything.

    What can I do?
    All my mom cares about is money and she is quite selfish and not loving to me at all as her daughter.

    She doesnt even want me to go to uni as she says its expensive and a waste of time.

    My mom earns £45,000 a year which is quite good, as well as bonuses.

    It genuinely want to commit suicide because I cannot deal with all this stress. Also, although she cares about money too much, she gets mad at me for working. I can never win. She also always complains about me to people and makes me look really bad, like she is a perfect mother.

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