Just one sec...
Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

I don't want a threeway

Announcements Posted on
Take our short survey, £100 of Amazon vouchers to be won! 23-09-2016
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    My boyfriend has been asking me for the past couple of months to have a threeway, but I just don't want to. Sex is for me something intimate, something for 2 people only. I could never participate in a threeway but my bf really wants to. He says that he respects my decision, but I know that he thinks I'm dumb.
    My questions are:
    - How was your first threeway?
    - My bf keeps saying that he's ok with my decision, but I dont think that he really is.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Doesn't sound like a good boyfriend. Threesomes are not something very common in normal couples. If you don't want to do it just don't. For one not to fail and be awkward you need 3 people who are fully into it and into each other, not just doing it to please someone else.
    Online

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Just say 'No'.
    Online

    3
    ReputationRep:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi7gwX7rjOw
    Online

    3
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My boyfriend has been asking me for the past couple of months to have a threeway, but I just don't want to. Sex is for me something intimate, something for 2 people only. I could never participate in a threeway but my bf really wants to. He says that he respects my decision, but I know that he thinks I'm dumb.
    My questions are:
    - How was your first threeway?
    - My bf keeps saying that he's ok with my decision, but I dont think that he really is.
    well people might abswer, but considering there was a self confessed attention seeking troll who admitted making a thread up with exactly the same scenario, then think I will give it a miss.
    Online

    2
    ReputationRep:
    if he keeps on asking even though he knows you dont want one then he is not a good boyfriend.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    If you don't want it, don't do it. Simple as.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    He's not a good boyfriend because of asking me to discuss something every now and then? do u even life m8
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    I feel like you're going to end up taking part in a three way because the guilt of disappointing your boyfriend will start eating you up
    Online

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Pinkberry_y)
    I feel like you're going to end up taking part in a three way because the guilt of disappointing your boyfriend will start eating you uo
    you're right
    i swear it drives me crazy when i see how much crap girls are willing to put up with from their boyfriends
    but they'll learn from their mistakes eventually
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Obs you don't have to do something you don't want to do. Would you be ok with him having a threesome with two other people?

    (Also with my suspicions..)
    Online

    3
    ReputationRep:
    If you don't want to do it, don't!
    If he doesn't respect that, dump him!
    He doesn't sound like a very good bf as he seems to want sex and nothing else.

    As you said, sex should be between 2 people and be an intimate experience! Not something that's done for fun because he wants to **** every girl he sees!

    Tell him no (as you clearly don't want to do it) and see what he says!
    Then go from there really!
    But don't let him force you!
    Online

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Communication is key in any relationship. If you don't want one, simply say "No".

    They're not for everyone; some couples enjoy them on the regular, some as one-off, others can't stand them. Personally I fall in the latter group, so I can understand how you feel. Ultimately you shouldn't feel bad for saying no, as not only it is the right thing to do as you are not comfortable with the idea, but you're being open and honest with your partner. It's good he's willing to share a fantasy with you, and it's good to see you acknowledging what he has to say, but all it boils down to is what you are both comfortable with...and needless to say one of you isn't.

    If he persists, then you'll have to have a firm discussion of where the relationship is headed. You might be sexually incompatible with each-other, and it might be best to part ways. Perhaps explain to him that your view on intimate relationships is that of monogamy and it is not going to change.
    Online

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I think it ultimately comes down to respect. Self-respect and respect for your partner.

    1. Self-respect. You need to know how to put up a stand and defend yourself. If you don't want to do something, you say no. You don't have to feel pressured into doing something, or guilty about not doing it. Trust me, it's easy to just give in to your partner because you love them and want to please them but if you are not comfortable he has to accept that.

    2. Resect for your partner. If my boyfriend ever genuinely asked me to have a threesome, I think I would just leave tbh. It shows a complete lack of respect from his part, that he is so inconsiderate of your feelings and is that eager to share the intimate act of sex with someone else. He got into a relationship with you knowing it would be something between the two of you, no one else. For him to think that it is okay to even suggest a threesome suggests that he is eager to engage in such acts with someone else, and doesn't value you. If you don't want to do it, he has to suck it up. He shouldn't be considering sex with anyone other than you.
    It is one thing to have a fantasy, my boyfriend has shared his fantasies with me, but we both know they're just that. Fantasies.

Reply

Submit reply

Register

Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: September 20, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Poll
Which would you rather be...?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22

Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.