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Why is my cousin like this, what's the best way to help?

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    My cousin has just turned 18, is unemployed and I'm a bit worried about him/can't understand what's wrong. He has a girlfriend and is good socially/makes friends easily but doesn't seem to flourish in any other area. Throughout his life his brother has called him 'slow' and similar words as apparently his mum says he struggles with basic tasks. For example last week she ran out of milk so sent him to the shop and he came back with one of those tiny cartons, she says he doesn't do jobs properly either and he has no common sense. He struggled academically and left school with something like 2 c's in gcse and the rest he failed. He had driving lessons for months but then stopped as he said the instructor said they were fully booked and recommended he learns with someone else, which doesn't really make sense but his mum let him have a drive of her car and she said he struggled/didn't know what to do at a roundabout even though he had had those 30 lessons.

    He did some step into employment course and then got a job at a garden centre warehouse, his mum helped him fill his application and cv in. His mum said that he was happy, would get up early and wanted her to drop him off early so he'd make a good impression etc. He seemed to work hard, comming home tired and sweating at the end of the day. Though he was fired after 3 days, apparently for being on his phone, not following managers requests and bad attitude. They also said that he left his shift early but my cousin said that one of the assistants said he could go. Though I can't imagine him having an attitude he is very pleasant in front of family. I think this has put him off work, it's annoying as it was his first job and I think they should have supported him more. I've tried to talk to him and ask what he is interested in he just says he doesn't know and that he's not interested in anything really. His mum says he spends most of his time in his room with his gf.

    Any ideas what's wrong or how to help him?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My cousin has just turned 18, is unemployed and I'm a bit worried about him/can't understand what's wrong. He has a girlfriend and is good socially/makes friends easily but doesn't seem to flourish in any other area. Throughout his life his brother has called him 'slow' and similar words as apparently his mum says he struggles with basic tasks. For example last week she ran out of milk so sent him to the shop and he came back with one of those tiny cartons, she says he doesn't do jobs properly either and he has no common sense. He struggled academically and left school with something like 2 c's in gcse and the rest he failed. He had driving lessons for months but then stopped as he said the instructor said they were fully booked and recommended he learns with someone else, which doesn't really make sense but his mum let him have a drive of her car and she said he struggled/didn't know what to do at a roundabout even though he had had those 30 lessons.

    He did some step into employment course and then got a job at a garden centre warehouse, his mum helped him fill his application and cv in. His mum said that he was happy, would get up early and wanted her to drop him off early so he'd make a good impression etc. He seemed to work hard, comming home tired and sweating at the end of the day. Though he was fired after 3 days, apparently for being on his phone, not following managers requests and bad attitude. They also said that he left his shift early but my cousin said that one of the assistants said he could go. Though I can't imagine him having an attitude he is very pleasant in front of family. I think this has put him off work, it's annoying as it was his first job and I think they should have supported him more. I've tried to talk to him and ask what he is interested in he just says he doesn't know and that he's not interested in anything really. His mum says he spends most of his time in his room with his gf.

    Any ideas what's wrong or how to help him?
    His focusing on socialising than his future, you can't really do anything he'll have to learn from mistakes when it all collapses.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My cousin has just turned 18, is unemployed and I'm a bit worried about him/can't understand what's wrong. He has a girlfriend and is good socially/makes friends easily but doesn't seem to flourish in any other area. Throughout his life his brother has called him 'slow' and similar words as apparently his mum says he struggles with basic tasks. For example last week she ran out of milk so sent him to the shop and he came back with one of those tiny cartons, she says he doesn't do jobs properly either and he has no common sense. He struggled academically and left school with something like 2 c's in gcse and the rest he failed. He had driving lessons for months but then stopped as he said the instructor said they were fully booked and recommended he learns with someone else, which doesn't really make sense but his mum let him have a drive of her car and she said he struggled/didn't know what to do at a roundabout even though he had had those 30 lessons.

    He did some step into employment course and then got a job at a garden centre warehouse, his mum helped him fill his application and cv in. His mum said that he was happy, would get up early and wanted her to drop him off early so he'd make a good impression etc. He seemed to work hard, comming home tired and sweating at the end of the day. Though he was fired after 3 days, apparently for being on his phone, not following managers requests and bad attitude. They also said that he left his shift early but my cousin said that one of the assistants said he could go. Though I can't imagine him having an attitude he is very pleasant in front of family. I think this has put him off work, it's annoying as it was his first job and I think they should have supported him more. I've tried to talk to him and ask what he is interested in he just says he doesn't know and that he's not interested in anything really. His mum says he spends most of his time in his room with his gf.

    Any ideas what's wrong or how to help him?
    He's at the point of his life where he doesn't know what to do. He has no work experience to speak of, no academic records to speak of, and no drive. He needs direction. Unfortunately, direction can only be decided by him.

    Being social is in itself a skill which many people seem to not recognise. From this you can see he not completely useless.

    He'll find something eventually. Gently encourage him. Engage with him in something outside of job searching - for instance, take part in his favourite computer game, or go out with him and his gf. Do not judge him. Be with him. Support him. Show him your love for him.

    He'll be fine.
 
 
 
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