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Is it unfair to judge a Woman on her past?

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Take our short survey, £100 of Amazon vouchers to be won! 23-09-2016
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    I was young once and did some stupid things. Then I meant my partner (and he done some stupid things). 7 years on we now do stupid things together but enjoy a happy life. The morale of the story is IF YOU DON'T TRY who knows what will happen. The past is the past people grow up/change.
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    (Original post by yudothis)
    People always say the past is the past or something like this in this kind of thread. But I think that is bs. People generally don't change that much. And if you are not comfortable with her past, it will always be an issue. I don't buy the whole, they were just young, rebelling, whatever. If you would not have been cool with it then, why now?
    I don't agree. What people do in the past can form who they are today and some people are more experiemental and curious than others. As long as they're not hooked on something (like drugs) then I see no harm. Some of the things she done were like 16 years ago and a one off (having sex in a gig and getting a tattoo young).*
    *
    I think concerns should be if something she has done has patterns of repeating themselves, like having rebounds every time she splits up with someone. That behaviour is questionable if she will change in that regards but that's*just my opinion.*
    #4

    Christ. Ya'll need to learn to live a little. Woman has public sex once and a fwb relationship. That does not equal whore. How ****ing repressed do you *have to be to think like that?*

    Besides, whore and slut and all those other stupid words are just words used to shame women who enjoy living and enjoy ****ing. They mean nothing.*
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Good point. The teenager stuff was slightly worrying but I was more concerned about what she did at uni (FWB with housemate, etc.)
    But why judge her on things like FWB if that was when she was at uni? She probably didn't feel ready to commit like a lot of us do and quite frankly liked sex. That is a different type of relationship she had back then.

    The important question is what are you to this girl? Are you happy with where you're at with her? *
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    Send her my way.
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    other then the sex in the middle ofa crowd which is just slutty, the other stuff in generally mainstream

    she could be worse!
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    (Original post by DanielleT192)
    I don't agree. What people do in the past can form who they are today and some people are more experiemental and curious than others. As long as they're not hooked on something (like drugs) then I see no harm. Some of the things she done were like 16 years ago and a one off (having sex in a gig and getting a tattoo young).*
    *
    I think concerns should be if something she has done has patterns of repeating themselves, like having rebounds every time she splits up with someone. That behaviour is questionable if she will change in that regards but that's*just my opinion.*
    Indeed. So you do agree.
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    (Original post by yudothis)
    Indeed. So you do agree.
    No I don't agree.*
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    (Original post by DanielleT192)
    No I don't agree.*
    What I bolded of your post, is what I said.
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    I want to sniff coke from a girl's ******* but I'm still as nice as they come.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    Send her my way.
    sloots gon sloot

    time to LDAR, boyo

    on dat dere cuck time
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    (Original post by Twinpeaks)
    If you reject someone who's otherwise perfect, based on something they did nearly half their lifetime ago, then you are a fool.

    All these boys saying women don't change, know absolutely nothing.

    So there's this guy, 30 years old. Attractive. He's got a nice car, nice house, nice job, cool personality, knows how to make you laugh ...etc, and just seems like the perfect guy.

    but 10 years ago he was a pedophile. He had 1000's of indecent images on his PC of children some as young as 5 and even got caught by chris hansen whilst trying to meet a 13 year old girl.

    all of that was 10 years ago. He's "changed"

    you gonna date him?
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by DanielleT192)
    But why judge her on things like FWB if that was when she was at uni? She probably didn't feel ready to commit like a lot of us do and quite frankly liked sex. That is a different type of relationship she had back then.

    The important question is what are you to this girl? Are you happy with where you're at with her? *
    I don't know why she told me all this stuff I'm not the kinda guy who insists knowing a girls "number" u know?

    Idk she's a lot older and we are just dating but not sure if she still wants to sow her oats a bit. I have lots of female friends too but I dont flirt with them like she does her male ones
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    So there's this guy, 30 years old. Attractive. He's got a nice car, nice house, nice job, cool personality, knows how to make you laugh ...etc, and just seems like the perfect guy.

    but 10 years ago he was a pedophile. He had 1000's of indecent images on his PC of children some as young as 5 and even got caught by chris hansen whilst trying to meet a 13 year old girl.

    all of that was 10 years ago. He's "changed"

    you gonna date him?
    Don't be foolishly pedantic. You know they are two completely different things. Being promiscuous is no way near akin to being a pedophile. One being harmless, the other being a significantly harmful, psychological disorder. But nice try.


    And actually, as a Psychology graduate I can tell you that risky behaviour such as promiscuity during adolescence is no way indicative of long term, life long behaviour patterns. For many reasons (social, neurological, emotional etc) people are often their most risky and sensation-seeking during adolescence. People become far less risk-seeking as they mature, I.e., they change.
    On the contrary my dear, pedophilia has a significantly more long term diagnosis. It's not just a passing phase.

    So your 'argument' falls short on two major points there. Firstly, pedophilia and promiscuity is not even comparable in the first place. Secondly, one has evidence of being decidedly short term, the other decidedly long term.

    Nice try though petal. Also, I just love your sexist tones, 'has a nice car, nice house'. Well if that wouldn't make me swoon at his feet, I don't know what will.
    #5

    (Original post by Twinpeaks)
    Don't be foolishly pedantic. You know they are two completely different things. Being promiscuous is no way near akin to being a pedophile. One being harmless, the other being a significantly harmful, psychological disorder. But nice try.


    And actually, as a Psychology graduate I can tell you that risky behaviour such as promiscuity during adolescence is no way indicative of long term, life long behaviour patterns. For may reasons (social, neurological, emotional etc) people are often their most risky and sensation-seeking during adolescence. People become far less risk-seeking as they mature, I.e., they change.
    On the contrary my dear, pedophilia has a significantly more long term diagnosis. It's not just a passing phase.

    So your 'argument' falls short on two major points there. Firstly, pedophilia and promiscuity is not even comparable in the first place. Secondly, one has evidence of being decidedly short term, the other decidedly long term.

    Nice try though petal. Also, I just love your sexist tones, 'has a nice car, nice house'. Well if that wouldn't make me swoon at his feet, I don't know what will.
    It's the opposite for me I was anxious, very quiet and cautious in my teens/early twenties (didn't socialise and was scared to travel) but now I realise life is short and I need to take more risks lol.
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    (Original post by Twinpeaks)
    If you reject someone who's otherwise perfect, based on something they did nearly half their lifetime ago, then you are a fool.

    All these boys saying women don't change, know absolutely nothing.

    Don't lecture me m8.

    Nothing she did particularly shocked me. Clearly the incident at the gig is something most girls haven't done. He said himself she is still a bit of party girl.

    Have fun but if he wants marriage, kids etc then there will be better options.
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    I think it's natural to judge someone's past, be that a woman's or a man's.
    If you don't think you have similar values then don't waste her time.
    One thing I don't agree with is the fact you said it might be different if a guy had done those things... now that's just hypocritical.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't know why she told me all this stuff I'm not the kinda guy who insists knowing a girls "number" u know?

    Idk she's a lot older and we are just dating but not sure if she still wants to sow her oats a bit. I have lots of female friends too but I dont flirt with them like she does her male ones
    She'd tell you to filter you out. When I was dating, I was upfront because I'd rather know sooner than later if a guy is squeamish.

    LOL at judging **** teenagers do. There's a reason why there's a distinction between juvenile records and adult record. I never would've been employed or gotten into university if anyone had had a peak at my juvie records. I was an angry kid and it took time to cool off.

    I didn't do FWB myself, but most women under 40 these days have done this at some point. I completely understand why. They could have a string of one night stands or FWB, which is much safer and cleaner.
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Ella-keturah)
    I think it's natural to judge someone's past, be that a woman's or a man's.
    If you don't think you have similar values then don't waste her time.
    One thing I don't agree with is the fact you said it might be different if a guy had done those things... now that's just hypocritical.
    Where did I say that? I dont agree w that :fyi:
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't mind boarding school or rich kids lol, but yh she is a bit wild. If a guy had done those things sexually would you date him
    It's the wildness of them I don't understand.. When you have everything on a platinum platter but still feel the need to get wasted, drugged up and sleep around... It says a lot about your character, or lack of. No I wouldn't not go with a guy who has such sexual escapades as I could not ever trust that those days were behind him. As someone said in another post come around 25 if the person doesn't change when the brain is fully mature then their personality and habits are pretty much fixed they will always find a way to stray back to them.

    Plus you say she actively and obviously flirts with her male friends now, so yes if that were a guy I would just cut my losses and avoid wasting further time and emotion.

    You have come asking for advice but you have been very defensive over her. It's very obvious you are going to do this and heed no warnings.
 
 
 
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